(;FF[4]GM[1]AP[DGS:1.0.15]BR[11k]WR[11k]XM[109]OT[30 days with 1 day extra per move]RU[Japanese]SZ[19]KM[5.0]GC[Game ID: 747888
Game Type: GO (1:1)
Rated: Y

White Start Rating: 11k (+39%) - ELO 1039
Black Start Rating: 11k (+29%) - ELO 1029];B[pd];W[dp];B[pq];W[dc];B[qk];W[ci];B[ip];W[dm]
;B[gd]LB[fq:a][lp:b][po:c]C[a to c are alternative moves I thought about.];W[de]
;B[jd]C[The last two moves are something I read about on sensei's. Suppossedly they couter the influence of the chinese pattern. 

I now think it might have been wiser to expand on my own strenght. White's left side is already pretty strong and most of my stones float at the forth line.];W[po]
;B[np]C[Too loose?];W[nn]
;B[mo]C[I was immediately unsatisfied with the shape on my lower side. It seems to be begging for an invasion later on.];W[lm];B[qp]
;W[ko]C[And voila];B[kq]LB[fq:a]C[This move still does not fix my shape issue. I can't find a move that makes this OK again, though.];W[nc]
;B[lc]MA[gc][gb][hc][hb][ib][ic][jc][jb]C[I wanted to close at least one side of my territory on the top. That the other stays open will be part of my demise later on.];W[qc];B[qd]
;W[pc]C[I liked the idea of a wall facing r9, though.];B[od];W[pj];B[pk];W[oj]
;B[on]LB[ri:a][ok:b][nj:c]C[There is only one explanation for this move: I had made too many complicated tesuji tsumego recently and did something that vaguely reminded me of them.

a looks like a better move to me now. It would more or less settle the r9 group and threwaten to weaken white by pushing further at b.

Maybe even trading b to c first? Cutting below later on looks more promising with a stronger wall above.];W[om];B[pn]
;W[ok]C[ouch!];B[pm]
;W[ol]C[I liked that I had captured q5 and secured 4th line territory... I now think alllowing white this huuuge wall facing the already white left side was a huuuge mistake. Also, my wall on the top is doesn't look that great to me now.];B[oc]C[I really wanted to exploit that weakness. I could not come up with plan that showed me something satisfiying, but pushed in regardless.];W[ob]
;B[in]LB[fq:a]C[As I did not like what I was doing in the upper right corner I tried to do something against my fears of a huge white center. 

In retrospect, I do not like the move at all. Even playing just at a seems better to me.];W[nd]
;B[nb]C[This was maybe my worst move. I knew retaking the corner in exchange for a tenuki wopuld not be a good idea and did it anway.];W[mb];B[pb];W[na];B[qb]
;W[rc]C[I did not expect that.];B[rb];W[rd];B[re];W[le];B[of];W[nf];B[ng];W[og];B[pf];W[jf]
;B[lb]C[At this point in the game I felt rather depressed as I had made a lot of mistakes against my better judgement.];W[jm]C[White also wins the fight for the center. My right side is invaded and contained. My top still open with an enemy stone pointing at it. White's left is still untouched.];B[oh];W[mg];B[nh];W[mh]
;B[fq]C[Finally];W[eq]
;B[fr]C[Ascending rather than descending might have been better.];W[er]
;B[ij]C[Pure desperation. The idea went along the line of getting white to defent the center, gaining strenght and then invading the left. Well, maybe it went along that line. It's mainly desperation.];W[hf];B[im];W[ik];B[hk];W[hl];B[il];W[jk]
;B[ed]C[Some way to defend my territory in sente was desperatly needed.];W[dd]
;B[ff]MA[ij][hk]C[I actually still like that move. The idea was that there is avague threat of a connection with the marked stones.];W[gk]
;B[hj]TR[nf]MA[hl][nd][nc][ob][na][mb][le][jf][hf]LB[gg:a]C[White sill needs to defend it's marked stone. Next a pushes the idea of connecting the top to h10.

Additionally thids is the point where I got the idea to target the atari against the triangled stone to seperate and kill the white group at the top (or get at least threats that allow me to catch up). It did not work out that way, but I'm rather proud of having had the idea at this point in the game.];W[gm];B[gg];W[gi]
;B[hh]LB[ih:a]MA[mf][lf][lg][kg][kh][jh]C[The threat to connect to me was a way to hide my intention of capturing at  the top. 

I was aiming at a as a ladder breaker. I had it all read out! ... sigh];W[hi];B[ih];W[ii];B[mf];W[ne];B[me];W[md]
;B[lf]C[The ladder starts. I was soooo sure ;)];W[kf];B[lg]
;W[lh]C[And started to won];B[kg]C[And started to wonder why white keeps playing along...];W[jh]LB[mi:a]TR[jl][jn][ko]C[Sudden understanding.

I still thought that it moght have been worth it. I was pretty sure that a is very bad aji for white and that I could use that later on to enter the center territory. There was also more bad aji that would allow me to capture the triangled stone. 

The problem was that I felt even more further behind than I probably was.];B[cg]C[So I did that.

What would have been a better invading point?];W[dg]
;B[ch]C[Ramming myself against white in tha tmanner does not appera very good to me now.];W[bi]
;B[df]C[I could not live locally and could not make out a way to escape. I only knew I needed cutting points.];W[cf]
;B[dh]C[I had been hoping for white to extend here. I think I should have been able to capture something then. (see variations)]
(;W[ef]C[That was a possibility I also saw. I thought that would end in ko.];B[eg]LB[eh:a]C[I bleieved white would play a and start a Ko.];W[df]
;B[eh]C[I also believed that to connect me.];W[fe];B[gf];W[ge]
;B[hd]C[Desperation time (again):

The idea is to strenghten the upper side in sente and then try to find local live for my invasion stones.];W[he]C[black resigns])
(;W[eg];B[ef];W[eh]
;B[ei]LB[cf:a][dg:b]C[If white defends a, black captures b and vice versa.]
(;W[fh];B[ce];W[bf];B[be];W[bg];B[bh];W[ah]
;B[di]LB[ai:a][ag:b]C[I actually now see that the capture depends on white falsly connecting at a. If white connects at b, it does not seem to work.]
(;W[ai];B[ag];W[af];B[ae];W[ag];B[cj])
(;W[ag];B[ae];W[ai]
;B[cj]C[Black can not capture anymore.]))
(;W[ce];B[fh])))