Bear in mind I tend to be the strongest player at my club each week - a testament more to the strength of my club than my own strength.

Nevertheless, I invariably refer to them as...

Targets

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My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle

I think a person who insist on putting handicap stones on the goban, implying that his opponent is handicapped in any way, should be ashamed of his behavior, apologize and resign immediately. It is much better to obliterate him in the name of equality, and don't review the game afterwards, because both players surely have equal understanding of what happened.

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Formerly Gorim

The OP started this thread in jest. At least, this is obvious to me and to some posters in this thread.

Also (while it is ultimately irrelevant to the post), the history of the term "handicap" is interesting. Contrary to popular belief, the term's origin does not relate to persons with disabilities, poor people, or beggars asking for money by holding out a hat (or cap, as it were). The term "handicap" originated from a game (named, surprisingly enough "hand in cap"). The word was later expanded to describe methods of balancing games or sports--as in go or golf. Only later was it used to describe persons with disabilities.

While "politically correct" usage isn't a real issue here, I advise against a knee-jerk reaction that all "politically correct" (or "PC") terms are nonsense or should be ignored. In many cases, I absolutely agree that attempts at being "PC" are ridiculous or at least unnecessary. One of my favorite absurdities is the use of "ex-felon" instead of "felon." Why? Because a "felon" is someone who commits a felony, and some felons never serve prison time. We have other words to describe people who have finished serving sentences...

In any event, instead of thinking about whether a term is "PC," consider whether it is the most effective way to communicate. For example, "mentally retarded" has a long medical history, and "retarded" is another word for "slow." But in common usage, the term has become offensive, and used offensively (when I was growing up, "retarded" was a common insult). So the term is best avoided.