I used to have this problem too. (Actually, I still do, it's just gotten a little better over time). The following were a few things that helped:
Studying and getting the feel for common ways of making shape in tight positions. Driving tesuji, flying off orthogonally, counter-hane, attaching under on the second line, crosscuts. Sensei's library has a few pages to illustrate the basic idea, and many tesuji books have a number of examples involving these.
Playing many 2-4 stone handicap games as white.
Looking over pro games, with a focus on how they develop their shapes, which choice of move they use to defend a weakness, how they settle or sacrifice an invasion.
And watching Magicwand's malkovitch games for inspiration and fighting spirit.
