Today on KGS I played against "AugustWest". In both games I took a 2 stone handicap. In the first game I did not know what I was doing and resigned as soon as I realized White had an overwhelming lead. In the second it seemed to me that White won, but I won by 6.5 pts. instead. In either case I could not overwhelm White for anything. As always, much obliged in advance for your kind comments.

The first game:



And the second:

I think you're playing too fast. In the second game, your move should be at Q18; your move should be at D2. Your move 210 is bizarre - if you don't want to start a ko (why not? It's a flower ko for black!), at least tenuki, rather than adding dead stones in sente. The ko starting at move 215 is a hard ko for white, and is worth around 30-50 points depending on whether you kill or it becomes seki, but you played a lot of non-threats, and you played some threats without taking the ko afterwards.

You're also falling for a lot of the same tricks repeatedly - look up some standard continuations to the low approach to the 4-4 (white's moves , , ) and try to understand why they are the way they are. is almost never an appropriate response - should be making a base for the corner stone or threatening the approach stone.

You spent less than 3.4 seconds per move in game 1. (Less than 5.5 minutes for your 94 moves.)

You spent less than 4.5 seconds per move in game 2 -- Less than 9 minutes total for your 122 moves.

Why do you expect to be able to 'overwhelm' someone who gives you 2 stones? Normally we have to think that person is probably a little better at the various aspects of the game. Thinking you can just win by fighting harder will lead to overplays. Should your expectations be a little more modest for handicap games where you are taking Black?

_________________
Dave Sigaty
"Short-lived are both the praiser and the praised, and rememberer and the remembered..."
- Marcus Aurelius; Meditations, VIII 21

Yes, even though there are instances where I have won by 15 to 20 points in 2-handi games when playing as Black, I would be better off being modest in my expectations when taking stones in handi games. One thing I need to do is stop falling for these pseudo-josekis. Perhaps if I take the time to look through a joseki book I can gain some insight into what occurs during an exchange.

And I still need to learn how to play more slowly - especially when it's late at night and I feel tired

You can't always judge a game by the score, as that high score could be the result of a misread, or winning a semeai by one move, where a slight change would mean the other side would be ahead by the same amount. It's also worth noting that as you and your opponents get stronger, your mistakes will become less expensive and the variability of the quality of your play in one game vs. another should diminish to some degree, making this swingyness less common.

This is why I would much rather play stronger opponents on a consistent basis; with stronger players I learn which moves work and which don't, whereas with weaker players I do not gain much with which to improve my game, even though I could easily win. However, this is hard to do when almost everyone else seeks only stronger opponents than oneself. I definitely need to integrate my application of strategy and tactics more completely. No sense in playing a stellar opening only to have it all go to waste in middle game and endgame.