I just barely scratched the surface, so i know i can and need to improve.
I think I can enjoy the game even more with experience/knowledge.

But, alas I am slow at learning.

I have always played games my whole life and I have always strived to play each game as well as I can. Most games seem to have a platue that is pretty easy to reach but Go is not like that. There is always something else to learn.

I really like the mind work out it gives me and I like to at least play competivley against the people in my club.

I know I can get better. Picturing myself as a strong player in the future drives me.


I don't think I'll ever stop thinking like that, even when I am strong. There's always going to be a better move, a smarter way to think.


In a more childish sense, being a "dan" of any sort just sounds cool.

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7 kyu. Nakamura on kgs.

I always imagine that dan players get special hats, and get to have little weekly pizza parties that nobody else is invited to. The first people allowed to visit the moon commercially will be dan-players, on all-expense paid tickets. Parents want dan-players to kiss their babies, and they're allowed to cut ribbons with giant novelty scissors. And lest we not forget, the commemorative novelty checks.

...but I mostly just want to get better because I enjoy learning.

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Someday I want to be strong enough to earn KGS[-].

I feel disappointed in myself when I play badly. When I look at a game afterwords or just look at the result of a sequence I thought would be good but turned out poorly I feel bad about it. So if I get better I'll be happier at the end of the game whether I win or lose. I sometimes resign before the game is actually lost if I feel really bad about the way I played up to that point.

The driving force behind improvement is affection for the game and attitude to treat it as challenge for brain. Improvement is consequence of this.

In a recent OTB tournament, at one stage I was so hyped by the tension of the game, I was literally shaking. Not sending neighbouring stones flying when placing my stones or capturing a prisoner was difficult. No doubt I'd be a better player if I could remain calmer in those situations, but that adrenaline buzz is definitely part of why I play.

Without the urge to improve I probably wouldn't have the same intensity when playing.

Because it sucks being weak and i hate it...

Because I hate losing.

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IN VICTORY, MALICE. IN DEFEAT, REVENGE. DON'T GET MAD, GET BAD

two years ago after a rather exhausting "Hikaru no Go"-Anime-marathon-watch for 14hours I finally fall asleep. In this night I had a strange go related dream in which I visit a small Go-saloon filled with players. Some looked japanese, some chinese, some caucasian, some afro-american so I figured that this place must be somewhere in the USA (where else could you meet so many different people?). After watching some games some kind of organisator set a game for me with one of the younger players in the club. I was able to win with 3.5 points, the player was 5 kyu. After that I got a stronger opponent, which I beat, too. I got many opponents and I was able to beat them all with 3.5 points, after dozens of games I finally got the strongest opponent in the club, a 6-dan... I was able to beat him with 3.5 points, too.

Ater that I woke up.

I havent forgotten about the dream and now my goal is to fulfill it

This mimics my driving force(s) as well.

I can get a little worked up at times when I play poorly (I'm not such a bad sport when I just lose a game, but when I make really stupid mistakes -- that's when I can get a little over-amped).

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KGS: schultz [?].

Huh, I don't actually know off the top of my head why I'm so into go.

...
...

Hm, still don't. Maybe I'll find out when I reach one dan.

I do enjoy it though.

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Revisiting Go - Study Journal
My Programming Blog - About the evolution of my go bot.

I've already fulfilled this, and I'm ~17 kyu.

Actually, on a more serious note, this is exactly how I have gotten better at chess. I have a friend who I couldn't beat ten years ago, and since I liked chess I put in the time to get better. I studied a lot, and finally I got that elusive first victory. I'm probably slightly better now. Ever since, I've lacked that stronger player to spar against so improvement really hasn't been coming.

In Go, I lack that luxury. I'm the best player that I know (in person), and none of my friends even play the game.

So, I'm hoping that one of these days, I'll meet a suitable rival that pushes me to improve. Improvement will come a lot easier when I actually have someone to play against regularly. Right now, the driving force is wanting to not be so weak.

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My plan to become an SDK is here.

Knowing someone in person that is stronger than you definitely helps a lot. That's been a problem for me at the local Go club. I'm one of (if not) the strongest player at the club, and it can be hard to motivate myself when it's only a few people I can play who are all quite a bit weaker than I am. Of course it doesn't help that the club night is on a night I am already busy...

That's another thing that is great about having online options for playing. You can actually play a lot of stronger people there. Now if only I didn't have problems getting myself to actually sit down and play a game or two online.

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KGS: schultz [?].

Online is great for getting games if no one else is around. For the most part, I play people once or twice online and I hardly ever see them again. For improvement, I find that if I have one person who is stronger to play against I actually improve faster because I'm more motivated.

If I play online, everyone is anonymous and I don't feel as much pressure during the game. Of course, I still want to play my best, but I'm more likely to rationalize small errors.

One way you could look at improving is that if some of the club members are nearing your strength is that you have to challenge yourself to beat them as many times in a row as possible.

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My plan to become an SDK is here.