Block.

Again, forcing exchanges without a purpose make my position slowly better. This one is just vulgar - he has no good followup against my shape, as I explained when I played the slide. If he wants to get 9-3 in sente, then that's completely incoherent with whatever 10-8 was.

I considered playing away at 17-11 anyway, but I do want to keep his potential weakness in the bottom left. Tenuki would give him not only a big corner and a much weaker black group in the center, but also increased control over the 3-8 area, where I no longer can play an aggressive move from the outside. So it's definitely big enough to worry about him actually following up, and so I shouldn't tenuki.

Still, I don't think he's been handling this midgame with the right ideas. I have a feeling that the next time I consider playing 8-19 and count, the game is going to be a lot closer.

I thought that blacks move had to be at 6-2 to keep this thing connected up. I think either black has misread or is willing to sacrifice something in the centre or I have miss-read quite seriously.
I'm a little nervous about having an incorrect position in my head but maybe more nervous that black will stylishly give me something small and take something large. In my wildest dreams black is cut and struggles to live on both sides. Exciting stuff

Block.
Connect.

Okay. I'm pretty sure there's no pretty sequence here. Thanks for the solidification?

Lots of kyu players think there's nothing with taking the forcing move, that I'm being limited to the side. That's very much wrong. Anywhere you might later play other moves, you shouldn't play useless moves. It lets me take advantage of your shape, stops you from taking advantage of my shape. It's just unnecessary.

Well. Now I can expect a better result on the left, since I don't have to worry so much about my group. Hoorah!

I'm relaxing about black having a plan to give me small but I am increasing in concern that I have missread. Specifically the situation on the right hand side.

Connect.

Okay, we clearly disagree on this. Here's my reading. He extends then I hane to capture. He cuts my upper stones, I double atari, he connects, I ladder, he extends to take away another liberty, I continue the ladder, he cuts my bottom hane, I atari his two stones, he cuts with atari to disable the ladder, I capture the laddered stones. There's no way for him to play these moves in a better order that I see.

I don't get it. Maybe I'm blundering again and I'm gonna resign in ten moves. But I don't think so.

Free stones?

As long as I'm not misreading the right hand side then my dreams are coming true.

Kosumi.

This move was really hard to make. Obviously I can play 9-2 and get sente... that would be good for me, but I'd still be behind. Doesn't this just work? If he jumps it's obviously no good, so he's gotta push, and then when I hane and he cuts my extension is also a connection to my bottom right group. Everything is hanging by a thread in the center - and there's no first line ko, because I also have the first line stone in atari. I would be sooooo much more confident if I could see the board right now

But after chilling a little bit and coming back to it, I'm pretty sure this is all just flat-out working for me. I wonder what he'll do next - he could still cut his losses and take 10-17, but I have a feeling that everything is about to go up in flames. Maybe that'll include me

I've been banking on this being sente against the right hand black group. Surely it is? Slightly nervous now though.

Cut.
Descend.

Eheheheheh. I realized after posting last time that I completely forgot to calculate his clamp in the variation where he pushes. I think I got really lucky that it wasn't working for him - seems like the stones I'd have at 10-3 and 12-3 would squeeze his stone at 11-3, giving me enough time to capture his cutting stone. But I definitely should have read that before moving, instead of after. Another example of the effects of blindness kicking in!

Anyway, now this is like I play 9-2 last move and he clamped. I would have played 9-3 there, but there's no way clamping is the right response to 9-3, so this is obviously better. My position should be improving move by move that he spends giving me easy responses.

My biggest worry right now is that he'll find a good way to exploit the weakness of the bottom right. This next fight might be the game-deciding moment. I feel like he should have a way to seize control and coast to victory, if he plays it properly. In retrospect, I might have preferred 15-10 at 15-9, where he can block more efficiently at 16-10 but I have less weaknesses to worry about. Not sure, though. I'm obviously losing either way.

Even if this not fatal then surely I've got to start here.

Capture.
Atari.

Well, this is very aggressive. I don't think this is the best way by him, but what do I know, I haven't really read any variations yet. Since he seems to be committing to killing me, I should take my good endgame exchanges before he changes his mind. I don't want to spend too long thinking about what I'll do after he answers, in case he also finds what I'll do and backs off for profit.

My instinct says I shouldn't die here, and he's overplaying. But then again, I have no visual for my instincts to be born from. Who knows what will happen?

That's a false eye on the first line right? Looks a little bit like a shortage of liberties situation for me but I think it's fine. I guess my group doesn't have any eyes but surely it has enough access to outside liberties to beat blacks one eyed group? When counting liberties I mustn't forget those two on the right

Looks to me as if O9 ends up either connecting out or making an eye on the inside, though it's not a one way street.

I think that Black's wall on the lower right is dead however I would hesitate to say that I'm certain. 15-10 is closer and helps out more than I first realised. Although nothing I can read works black could find some tesuji to connect out using the weaknesses in my positions or could even start a capturing race.

Unfortunately if black does find a way then I think it will involve a big loss for me so it seems unlikely we'll play endgame. A significant part of me hopes there's some sequence where we both live and get to play on.

Knight's move.

I give up reading this. Another thread going on right now is about ordering the variations you read, to read efficiently. That's a lot harder when you can't see the stones

I've read a hundred dumb variations and maybe 2 or 3 relevant ones. I'm definitely losing the thread here.

Regardless, this seems to be the natural move - when I read just a couple moves deep, it becomes apparent that other moves become inefficient quickly for several different reasons. One basic assessment - if I play the move one line below, then he eventually gets 16-7 in sente, and that's one corner pinched on a potential eye at 15-8. The move I'm playing appears to offer a little more flexibility. I can't find a perfectly clean way for white to continue, but I get a feeling that I'm missing something dumb. The blindfold is really becoming a serious problem here. There are some variations where it becomes a capturing race between my bottom group and his bottom group. I can't quite figure out yet whether I can snag a seki - it's a such a mess. In some ways this is an improvement to my position earlier, where I was strictly worse. If I get out of this, the territory should be looking a lot better.

Anyway, let's see what he does. I'm probably dead if he plays it correctly, but it ain't gonna be too simple (I hope).

This doesn't seem like it could be the breakout tesuji option so I think black is trying to trigger a favourable capturing race. Alternatively I did leave my top right group alone so maybe black will harras it, get some nice endgame and then figure out if the game is playable.

Also possible of course that I'm incorrect about the placement of one or two stones, the wall is fine and black is just playing good endgame.

Connect.

The only other option is 17-11 right away, offering a trade of my bottom right stones for his central stones. If that trade happens, then he would have some 50ish points in the bottom right, and 85-90ish overall. I would have to make around 70 points on the top to make the game playable. I think I can make around 60, so I'm on the edge of being able to keep playing, surprisingly.

But I still can't quite see how he kills me. Saving the bottom right group is bigger than giving it up. I'm going out in a blaze of glory! Here we go!

Looks more and more like the capturing race option but black seems very busy to stop my liberties increasing.