A new "study journal" for a new way of looking at Go.
This is my second study journal, as I don't feel the same person anymore that started the first study journal (The Story of a Loser).
So suffice this small summary to sum up the previous one:
For the first half of 2018, I studied Go extremely intensively. I read books, played games, reviewed games, studied with a Sensei, studied with peers...
I managed to grow from about 22 kyu to SDK, not a bad achievement, I believe. It's given me the absolute basics of the game of Go.
But now things are going to be different. The reasons why are numerous, but let me state two that already make it obvious I can't/won't continue the path I've taken these past six months:
- I'm not aiming to make Go my professional career.
- I have so many interests and hobbies, some very dear friends, a very rewarding job, a high love for being outdoors...
These two facts combined make me look back on those 6 months with pride that I've learned so much, I really did. But they also keep me grounded and made me realize that way of looking at Go has come to an end.
So this journal is for the new way. What is the new way? Well, many things are going to change in my "Go career". 3 things are essential for me. These are:
Attitude about GoWhile those 6 months were really great and made me improve a lot, they also brought me a certain amount of stress and pressure. In my new way of Go, I don't want any pressure from such a beautiful game. Meaning I have no (short term) goals about the game, nor any obligations towards the game. Instead I see it more as my other hobbies: I'll play when I feel like it. If I don't want to play Go for 2 weeks, that's fine. If I want to spend an entire rainy Saturday playing Go, fine too. The only stress should come from playing an actual game, where a little stress is to be expected.
Meaning I've finally done away with the "silly" I-want-to-be-such-rank-in-such-time-attitude. In fact, I'm quite unconcerned about rank entirely at the moment. Maybe it'll return with time, but now I really don't care at all what my Go rank is. I just want to enjoy the game when I play it. If I don't, I'll do something else.
Method & Philosophy of ImprovingObviously the previous also makes for a different approach to improving. While improvement is not my primary interest, it would be dishonest of me to state I don't want to improve anymore. Improvement in any discipline/hobby should be sought after. Playing my keyboard, I'm always looking for new ways to challenge myself and improve.
But it's not longer the driving factor in playing Go. My philosophy at the moment is the following: I've laid the very base for my Go playing in these past months. Now I have an entire lifetime to improve on them, (or not). If I keep playing Go as a casual player, I may still improve over the years. Maybe I'll still be as strong as I am now in 10 years, maybe I'll keep growing steadily and become quite strong. Maybe I'll go all obsessive over Go again when I go on retirement in 40 years
Then again, maybe my interest in Go will only decline further and I'll play 1 game a year in a decade. All is possible, all is fine by me, if it means I'm happy about life at that point.
So how to improve, then? It's quite simple: I'm going to try to improve with a natural and intiutive method. The most ancient one of all: by doing what I want to do.
Do I want to solve some tsumego during a 10 minute wait? Then I'll do so.
Do I want to play a game? I'll do so. Want to review? Do so.
Want to play a bot before dinner? Do so.
Want to read a Go book for fun? Do so.
Don't want to play online anymore? Stop doing it.
Don't want to make an effort in Go right now? Stop doing it.
Meaning I'll make use of this site when I feel like it. Posting games for analysis has always been something that helped me improve, so I'll keep doing that. I no longer want to burden my Sensei with all the work he's done for me, but I may ask for occassional help and I believe he'll give it to me when I ask for it.
Same with this study journal. I'll use it when and how I want.
And I'm certain the above things will change constantly. For example: I'm done with online Go for now. But I can already see myself playing online games during the dark Winter months, when it's freezing and snowing outside.
The point is that it's going to be on my terms. Which sounds so damn logical it's amazing I've had to wait six months to figure that out.
FocusLastly, there will be one focus, sort of obligatory. One part of my Go-playing I'll have to develop.
Since I'm a teacher at school, and I do believe in the many benifits Go brings to (young) people, I will start up a Go-club at my school come September.
So in about a month, I'll be guiding young minds through their journey in Go. I want to make that commitment, I have no problem with that.
Secondly, the Go club I've started here in my town. I'll try to keep running it. Partly because it's still nice to play people face to face. Also because it brings together people, and I'm all for that.