The Start Of A New Journey (Plan To Become Pro)

hailthorn011 · **#81**

Well, yesterday didn't quite go as planned. I was distracted by E3 for a good portion of the day and fell asleep around 7PM. Also I had to walk to several different places.

And today is Nintendo's E3! I definitely can't wait.

SO today, I'll have the same goals as I did for yesterday. This time I'll try to get these things done BEFORE E3 begins.

hailthorn011 · **#82**

Well, I keep getting distracted this month. First it was E3 and now Euro 2012.

Anyway, I lost in the Tygem Pro Prelims as expected. But the tournament seemed like a bit of a mess because a lot of players didn't show up, and so I ended up having to wait until yesterday to play my game in which I was paired with a 2D. I would display the game but I have no idea how to download SGFs from Tygem.

I also played in my first Canadian League match and lost that too. And I've played a few ASR League games. I also have done a lot of tsumego and read a bit more of Attack and Defense despite having a lot going on in my personal life as well as everything else going on.

I think right now I'm just going to adjust my goals to becoming a stronger player rather than aiming for pro. But at the rate I'm going, I'll be in my grave before I achieve either goal!

hailthorn011 · **#83**

So hailthorn continues to talk to himself, but he's decided to post anyway. And yes, hailthorn sometimes refers to himself in the third person. He's a wacko like that.

But I do digress. I'm nearing my 1000th game on my KGS hailthorn name, and I can't wait to hit that mark. It's been an excited couple of years. There have definitely been a lot of bumps on the road, long periods of inactivity, and things of that nature.

I've lost horribly and won magnificently. But usually I lose horribly more than I win magnificently. Also, my magnificent wins would likely make stronger players want to shake their heads. Regardless, it's been fun.

And recently, I stated I wanted to attain a pro rank. This was a huge statement to make. And I think, despite thinking i knew what I was getting into, the enormity of trying to attain that goal. Since saying that, the road has gotten murky and I've wanted to give up so many times. But then I remind myself that I simply need to try harder.

I've also been doing a lot of tsumego study over the course of the past 2 months, and I think I'm finally starting to see how it has benefited my play. In areas of life and death where I might have stumbled before, I'm handling those situations with relative ease. More often than not I don't even need to stop. I just recognize the situation.

However, there have also been some cases where I've made silly mistakes in tsumego and either failed to kill or been killed myself. But that's a part of the game. I understand that much.

I still haven't read as much of Attack And Defense as I would like, but I'm focusing more on life and death and playing games right now. Between the ASR League, the CGA League, and the L19 Tournament, I've got quite a bit of scheduled games ahead this week!

My overall goal remains the same: Get strong and attain pro. But my first step is to reach 6k and actually stay there. Whether it takes 2 years, 4 years, or even 10 years, it's a goal I'd definitely like to stay dedicated to.

But the biggest change in the way I look at all of this is, I just want to have fun playing the game. When the losses started piling up, I lost my confidence and as a result I haven't played very well. So I'm trying to find the balance between taking things seriously but also having fun to make it not be so devastating on my play if I suffer a chain of losses.

Losses, after all, are a sign that there are still things I need to grasp. Or I'm not concentrating hard enough.

Either way, I can imagine looking back on this journal in a few years and laugh at myself.

Actually the funny thing is, the other day I was out job hunting, and I got myself a newspaper. Out of whim, I decided to check out my horoscope, and it said something along the lines of, "if you really want something, you'll make it happen. Only you can get you to reach your goal." It was kind of eerie. I've never had a horoscope that spot on before.

But it's the simple truth. And I am definitely well aware of that. Anyway, I think I'm going to stop talking now. I get into this mode where I start typing, and it becomes rather hard to stop. It's a waterfall of thought, I guess.

Have a nice day, folks!

SoDesuNe · **#84**

Woah, 1000 games is great! With all my accounts I don't even have 800 :O

And I'm too a firm believer of "if you really want something, you'll make it happen" - so go for it ; )

hailthorn011 · **#85**

SoDesuNe wrote:

Woah, 1000 games is great! With all my accounts I don't even have 800 :O

And I'm too a firm believer of "if you really want something, you'll make it happen" - so go for it ; )

I definitely agree. And I am gunning for it.

hailthorn011 · **#86**

Well, despite my studies, I'm still dropping games left and right whether I play fast or slow. I've played 5 games today and won once because it was against an idiotbot. I'm keeping a positive attitude, but I will admit, this month has been really bad. 7-17.

And despite reviewing my losses and having stronger players review those losses, I feel like I'm heading backwards. At this point, I think it's a realistic possibility that I could fall back to 8k if I keep playing. 1p? Ha, yeah right. I've tried taking a break before and that only seemed to cause me to play even worse than I was before.

This is probably the worst rut I've ever been in. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel this time. And it's not like I've really learned anything recently.

Actually, this might just be a coincidence, but I recently created a topic where I stated that I thought soda could be hampering my play. Funny coincidence or not, but when I quit drinking soda, that's when my slide began. I'm not going to blame that for why I suck (since I sucked even while drinking soda) but I can't help but wonder if there's at least some connection.

What I really think would help would be to have a teacher right now. But I can't pay for a teacher. And I'm not advancing despite my studies. I'll just admit it, I've never been very good at self-study.

And I really want to stick to this goal, but it's looking like more of a foolish dream than a goal as each day goes on.

illluck · **#87**

Personally, I've found that my records are a lot better when I play only a game or two per day. With more games I get worn out very quickly and start making more mistakes than usual (is that possible? :p).

Also, do you see a common theme in those lost games? Maybe there is an area of weakness that will immediately boost your strength if addressed.

SoDesuNe · **#88**

I picked three of your last games and reviewed them to find a common theme. I found a couple.

1. You should solidify your knowledge about basic opening and middlegame principles.

a)

b)

c)

d)

e)

f)

g)

After that and only here comes reading ability. It is really a minor part in the games I saw.

Here are the games with my comments. Beware I'm also a weak Kyu and prone to make mistakes ; ) Maybe stronger player will comment, too.

illluck · **#89**

Two quick comments. In the first game, move 96 can net, opponent still has the push and cut to top, but at least you capture the stones.

In the third game, move 50 at R5 is a move that helps your opponent completely solidify corner (that kind of "armpit hit" is only good at making life when you need as much eye space as possible and contacts don't work). More common would be something like R4 or R3 later (I'd probably R3).

Solomon · **#90**

I took a look at one of your games. You had 30 minutes of main time, let's take a look at how your time was spent:

Move # Time Remaining
1 29:57
3 29:55
5 29:52
7 29:50
9 29:47
11 29:46
13 29:44
15 29:42
17 29:41
19 29:39
21 29:38
23 29:37
25 29:34
27 29:30
29 29:28
31 29:24
33 29:20
35 29:18
37 29:17
39 29:16
41 29:14
43 29:13
45 29:10
47 29:08
49 29:06
51 29:01

26 moves in 2 minutes, and by the end of the game, you made 150 moves in 9 minutes (3.6s/mv)...that's not just playing fast, you're not even thinking so it's not even worth reviewing. Same for the other games you played that day (109 moves in 10 minutes or 5.9s/mv, 102 moves in 5 minutes or 2.9s/mv, 68 moves in 10 minutes or 8.8s/mv).

bakekoq · **#91**

3 second per move? wowh, that's blitz go. even faster than blitz go using 10sec/move. lol.

SoDesuNe · **#92**

illluck wrote:

Two quick comments. In the first game, move 96 can net, opponent still has the push and cut to top, but at least you capture the stones.

Yeah, you are right. I did not think this through in my review. At first sight I thought the cutting-Aji was just too big. But Black has still to worry about 'a'. So White is relatively safe and even gained with this sequence.

Position at move 95

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Wc Position at move 95 $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . O X . . . . . . . . . . . O X . O . | $$ | . O X . X . . . . 5 4 3 . . O X X X . | $$ | . O O X . . . . X 7 O 2 O O . O X . . | $$ | O . O X . X . . 9 6 O X X . . O . X . | $$ | . O X X . . . . . O X O X . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X . . . . 0 8 X O X . . . X . . | $$ | . X O X . . . . . 1 . O X . a X . . . | $$ | . X O . . . . . . . . O O X X O O . . | $$ | . O O . . . . . . . . X X O O . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . O X . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . | $$ | O X X X . . . . . , . . . . . O . . . | $$ | O O O X . . . . . . X . . X . . O . . | $$ | . O X O X . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

hailthorn011 · **#93**

Araban wrote:

I took a look at one of your games. You had 30 minutes of main time, let's take a look at how your time was spent:

Move # Time Remaining
1 29:57
3 29:55
5 29:52
7 29:50
9 29:47
11 29:46
13 29:44
15 29:42
17 29:41
19 29:39
21 29:38
23 29:37
25 29:34
27 29:30
29 29:28
31 29:24
33 29:20
35 29:18
37 29:17
39 29:16
41 29:14
43 29:13
45 29:10
47 29:08
49 29:06
51 29:01

26 moves in 2 minutes, and by the end of the game, you made 150 moves in 9 minutes (3.6s/mv)...that's not just playing fast, you're not even thinking so it's not even worth reviewing. Same for the other games you played that day (109 moves in 10 minutes or 5.9s/mv, 102 moves in 5 minutes or 2.9s/mv, 68 moves in 10 minutes or 8.8s/mv).

You're right. My fast play is definitely undermining my play. So that very well could be the majority of my problem. No, it definitely is. I'll keep this in mind in my next few games.

Regardless, thank you SoDesuNe for looking over games. My effort has not been up to par lately. So from here on, I'll try to take my time in the games when necessary (obviously if a joseki sequence is known, I likely don't need to think for 2+ minites, but then again, I guess it wouldn't hurt.)

This is a game I played the day before yesterday. It was another loss, but it's one I don't feel bad about. It was a fun game. And yes, I missed that capture at the end. Those are the things I need to look out for. I probably didn't use enough time either, but it was an enjoyable game nonetheless. This game was a Canadian Go League match, by the way.

Jayy · **#94**

You played well that game and it was fairly close most of the time.(Your middle game was much better.)

Here are a few of the things I noticed afterwards.

Your choice of follow up for the joseki in lower right seemed a lot better for me when you consider the board situation.

Move 39 seemed a little slack on my part.

Moves 45-64 were much better for you, I gained little and all I did was fortify your group.

Moves 73-77 Bad sequence for me, ended in gote.

Move119 Bad choice

Move 138 Seems small and not necessary

Move 152 not necessary

I think you followed me too much in the endgame which let me get a safe lead.
I for some reason didn't notice F5 as well I guess it was nerves.

I would me delighted if someone stronger could give their comments on this game.

Loons · **#95**

hailthorn011 wrote:

Well, despite my studies, I'm still dropping games left and right whether I play fast or slow. I've played 5 games today and won once because it was against an idiotbot. I'm keeping a positive attitude, but I will admit, this month has been really bad. 7-17.

And despite reviewing my losses and having stronger players review those losses, I feel like I'm heading backwards. At this point, I think it's a realistic possibility that I could fall back to 8k if I keep playing. 1p? Ha, yeah right. I've tried taking a break before and that only seemed to cause me to play even worse than I was before.

This is probably the worst rut I've ever been in. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel this time. And it's not like I've really learned anything recently.
...
And I really want to stick to this goal, but it's looking like more of a foolish dream than a goal as each day goes on.

I'm also feeling down about my go very similarly.
Earlier today, I was looking through an old book of mine, CS Lewis's Screwtape Letters and came across my favourite quote. (To me, the religious overtones are simply artistic).

The Screwtape Letters wrote:

The Enemy allows this disappointment to occur at the threshold of every human endeavour. It occurs when the boy who has been enchanted in the nursery by Stories from the Odyssey buckles down to really learning Greek. It occurs when lovers have got married and begin the real task of learning to live together. In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing.

Marcus · **#96**

Play me.

I don't have much else to offer except a willing punching bag at the (2k? 3k?) level. Might be a bit to weak for you, though. :mrgreen:

Ellyster · **#97**

Go for it... is good to aim for imposible things, that's the only way to make them possible :lol:

(and if not, you at least get some fun in the way and a high level at the end).

I kind have a similar goal (become strong enough to do 7-9d KGS -> Insei strengh -> take the Nihon ki-in pro exam) of course is almost certain that I have no time (I'm 24, so even worse for me ;-)

) but is a no-sense to plan that ahead as the age limits are constantly changeing (26-30 years old), and who knows if Europe will have pros sometime soon.

hailthorn011 · **#98**

Marcus wrote:

Play me.

I don't have much else to offer except a willing punching bag at the (2k? 3k?) level. Might be a bit to weak for you, though. :mrgreen:

Sure, I'd be willing to.

I'm sure you'd have some insight that could prove beneficial.

hailthorn011 · **#99**

I'm surprised. I think my latest break has helped my game. Or my last few opponents haven't played very well. Or maybe a combination of both.

I've still got a long way to go, and if history has taught me anything, I should enjoy this success while it lasts, because it probably won't stick around for too long. And yes, I know this game was played very fast, but this isn't the case with most of my games.

I feel if my opponent had slowed down, he probably could have played better.

Regardless, since returning from my break (which was forced due to lack of internet) I am 3-1 with my only loss coming against a 1 Dan. But I want to post that game, too. So...here they both are.

I feel like my game against the 1 Dan was decent enough, I guess.

Yukontodd · **#100**

I read through your journal here during spare moments; I've found it pretty inspirational. I hope I get to play you in the CGA league sometime before you rocket off into the sky where I hear the pros live.

I wonder if setting short term goals too short might be less than helpful. If you strive to make 5 kyu by next week, that's just a number, which you get by winning games more than losing them. So to make 5 kyu, you must win and not lose. Your play can become stale, lifeless, fearful.

We want to play against people slightly higher than our ranks in order to learn better, but in order to raise our rank, we can just chug along beating people at lower levels than us and never challenging ourselves. Now, I know you're not doing that. In fact, it seems you're recruiting folks to help make you stronger. This will have the immediate effect of lowering your rank ... although your play will get stronger!

Keep your eye on the prize! It isn't the next rank, or even dan for you. It's pro level. To do that, first get strong. Your rank will follow, but you will be a very strong 5k, or a very strong shodan, until you get into the higher levels where you can no longer be pulled up higher from above.

Best of luck. I hope you make it!

The Start Of A New Journey (Plan To Become Pro)

Who is online