Life In 19x19

Reviewed the game with some version of Elf. The most interesting thing I got from it was this:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . O . X . . . , . . . O . X O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . X X O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O X O . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X C W . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X C . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . O . O . . . . . . . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

After white played this move, I considered only the two marked spots. The computer suggested this:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . O . X . . . , . . . O . X O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . X X O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O X O . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . O . O . . . . . . . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

If white cuts:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . O . X . . . , . . . O . X O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . X X O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O X O . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . O O . 4 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X 3 X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X 2 O 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . O . O . . . . . . . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

It's interesting. I don't know if it's good all of the time, but it's an interesting thought to give up that stone.

Hi Kirby,

This Saturday is that state competition thing for the Korean speech contest,

Do you have to write your own speech, or they gave you required materials to choose from ? True voice or mic'ed ?
( we'll be at Coffee Bean when you project on stage. )

The fog analogy is nice.

EdLee wrote:Hi Kirby,

This Saturday is that state competition thing for the Korean speech contest,

Do you have to write your own speech, or they gave you required materials to choose from ? True voice or mic'ed ?
( we'll be at Coffee Bean when you project on stage. )

The fog analogy is nice.

You have to write your own speech. But I had my speech proofread for errors. Some kids may have had their speeches written by their parents, but in general, the speaker writes their own.

At the local competition, they had a microphone. I assume it’ll be the same for this upcoming one.

I wrote about AlphaGo and the experience of being human.

A transcript is here:

부모님, 선생님은 언제나 우리에게 인생을 어떻게 살아야 하는지를 말합니다.
공부를 잘 해서 좋은 대학교에 가고, 그리고 졸업 후에는 좋은 회사에 취직하라고 하죠.
이런 이야기를 들으면서 저는 목표한 바를 성취하는 것에 바로 인생의 의미가 있다고 생각했습니다.
그래서 저는 여러 가지 목표를 세웠고 그 목표를 이루어 내려고 노력했습니다. 고등학교를 1등으로 졸업했고, 모두가 아는 좋은 회사도 다녀봤습니다.

그리고 대학교 때 우연히 바둑을 접한 뒤, 바둑에서도 목표를 세우고 그 목표를 이루어 내기 위해 노력했습니다. 10급, 3급, 그리고 꽤 높은 3단까지 이루어 냈죠.

2016년에 구글 딥마인드가 제가 많이 존경하는 이세돌9단과 바둑 경기를 두게 되었습니다. 많은 미디어에서 이세돌9단 대 알파고의 경기가 세기의 대국이라는 뉴스를 쏟아냈습니다. 하지만 저는 바둑은 복합적인 게임이기 때문에 프로 바둑기사가 컴퓨터를 상대로 꼭 이길 수 있을 것 같았습니다. 특히 이세돌 9단이라면 더욱더요.

2016년 3월 9일 저는 둘 사이의 첫 대국을 늦은 시간까지 생방송으로 봤는데... 이세돌 9단이 지고 말았습니다. 저는 너무 큰 충격을 받았습니다.
컴퓨터 인공지능이 인간보다 더 바둑을 잘한다면 내가 바둑을 계속 공부하는 것이 어떤 의미가 있을까? 아무리 열심히 바둑 공부를 해도 컴퓨터가 인간보다 바둑을 더 잘 하고 더 좋은 수를 둘 텐데 인간이 아닌 컴퓨터가 의미를 가지는 것 아닐까? 그렇다면 회사에서 아무리 열심히 노력해도 언젠가는 컴퓨터가 더 잘할 수 있지 않을까? 이런 생각들이 들면서 우리 인생이 점점 의미를 잃어가는 것은 아닐까?

하지만 아니요, 아닙니다. 초등학교 때부터 모범적인 인생이라고 배워왔던 것이 틀린 것입니다. 우리 인생의 의미는 목표한 바를 성취하는데 있는 것이 아니라 우리가 직접 경험하는 순간순간에 있는 것입니다.

비가 온 뒤 느끼는 시원한 공기… 인간이니까 느낄 수 있는 인간의 경험입니다.
우리 집 꼬맹이들과 밖에서 같이 놀 때의 좋은 기분… 인간의 경험입니다.
어떤 목표를 세우고 해 내기 위해 노력하는 것... 이렇게 집중하는 것도 인간의 경험입니다. 컴퓨터는 절대 경험할 수 없는 인간만의, 나만의 경험입니다.

기술이 성장하면 성장할 수록 인간보다 잘 하는 컴퓨터 프로그램이 생겨날 것입니다. 하지만 그래도 우리의 삶은 의미를 지닙니다. 바로 우리가 매순간 느끼는 작은 느낌과 경험에서 그 의미를 찾을 수 있는 것입니다.

I can translate it later - I am at the gym right now, and don’t have much time at the moment.

Hi Kirby,

I am at the gym right now, and don’t have much time at the moment.

You're at the gym 04:15 am ?!?

What, you can't treadmill and google-translate at the same time ?!

EdLee wrote:Hi Kirby,

I am at the gym right now, and don’t have much time at the moment.

You're at the gym 04:15 am ?!?

What, you can't treadmill and google-translate at the same time ?!

I live in Michigan, now, so it was around 7:15am

Anyway, here is a quick translation:

Our parents and teachers are always telling us how to live our lives. Study well and go to a good university - then after graduation, get a job at a good company, they say. In hearing this kind of a story, I came to think that the meaning of our lives is in accomplishing our goals. In that light, I set out to make various goals, and to make efforts toward accomplishing them. I graduated as valedictorian in high school, and I tried working at a good company that everybody knew about.

In college, after happening to come across the game of go, in go, too, I made goals and put forth effort toward accomplishing those goals. I advanced from 10kyu, 3kyu, all the way up to 3d. <-- (Hey, I can use my AGA rank, right? )

In 2016, Google Deepmind came to play Lee Sedol 9d, a player who I respect greatly. Many news sites described the Lee Sedol 9d - AlphaGo match as the "Game of the Century". But from my perspective, since go is so complex, if a pro go player were going to play against a computer, the pro would definitely win. Even more so if it were Lee Sedol 9d.

On March 9, 2016, I stayed up late watching their first game live... and Lee Sedol 9d went ahead and lost the game! I was too shocked.

If a computer AI could play go better than humans, what kind of meaning does it have for me to keep studying go? No matter how hard I study, computers will play go better than humans and come up with better moves. It is not then humans, but computers who have meaning? If that's the case, then in the workplace, too, no matter how much effort you put forth, at some point, won't computers become more capable? Is it not with these types of thoughts that our lives are slowly losing their meaning?

But no. No, that's not the case. The ideal life that I came to learn since elementary school was flawed. The meaning behind our lives is not merely in accomplishing our goals, but rather, what we directly experience from moment to moment.

The feeling of fresh air after the rain. Because we are human, we can feel that human experience.
The good feeling of playing outside with my kids... It's a human experience.
Making some sort of goal, and putting forth the effort to achieve that goal... This type of focus is also a human experience.

These are experiences that computers absolutely cannot experience. They are uniquely human... They are uniquely mine.

Today is the day in age where, as technology advances, computers are more and more capable to do things that humans cannot. However, even so, our lives continue to have meaning. That meaning can be found exactly in the small feelings and experiences that we have in each and every moment.

The original that I wrote for the local competition was actually slightly longer, but they asked me to shorten to about 3 minutes.

Hi Kirby,

Thanks; I thought you were at a 24-hr gym, and maybe I was off by 1 hour, 05:15 am, which is pretty early, but not unheard of ( Starbucks here opens at 05:30 am, and the Y too opens quite early. )

Another game today. I haven't played a ranked game on KGS in ages, so I did automatch, setting to 1k.

I was matched against a 3k, and played him with 2 stone handicap.

Here is the game with a brief self-review (no computer, yet):

My main takeaway from this game is not on the specifics of a move, but can be found here:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . O B . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . O . . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . . X X X . O O X X O O O X . O . . |
$$ | . O O X O X X X O O O X O X O O . . . |
$$ | . O X O O O O X X O X X X X . . . . . |
$$ | . O X O . . O O O X X . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . X . X . O . O . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

When black played the marked move, things were not going according to my original plan. At this point in the game, I thought for a little bit. But *DID NOT* come up with something that seemed satisfactory, locally.

So then, why did I keep playing?

- I can only think of it as my interpretation of "fighting spirit", which was not really "fighting spirit", but being stubborn in this case. When my plan is foiled, I need to calm down - STOP PLAYING in that area, because it'll make it worse. Don't be stubborn, but move to a different area.

So my main message to myself here is:

DON'T CONFUSE BEING STUBBORN WITH FIGHTING SPIRIT.

To have fighting spirit, I have to read that I have some sort of semblance of a plan.

To be clear, maybe there's something else locally that works. For example, I wonder if I could get some sort of profit with a move like this:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , W . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . O B . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . O . . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . . X X X . O O X X O O O X . O . . |
$$ | . O O X O X X X O O O X O X O O . . . |
$$ | . O X O O O O X X O X X X X . . . . . |
$$ | . O X O . . O O O X X . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . X . X . O . O . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

But the point is, I had this original plan of making his group on the bottom left weak, and when things didn't go as planned, I clung to that idea.

No, no. Do not.

I know exactly how you feel : D

When I misread or a plan does not work out, I tend to tilt for at least a couple of moves trying to force one thing or another. At least you started thinking about different plays when your plan didn't pan out. After I verified over and over again that my play does not work, I just blitzed the next douzen moves ^^

Kirby wrote:My main takeaway from this game is not on the specifics of a move, but can be found here:

$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , a . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . O B . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . W X . . O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . b . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . O . . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . . X X X . O O X X O O O X . O . . |
$$ | . O O X O X X X O O O X O X O O . . . |
$$ | . O X O O O O X X O X X X X . . . . . |
$$ | . O X O . . O O O X X . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . X . X . O . O . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , a . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . O B . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . W X . . O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . b . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . O . . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . . X X X . O O X X O O O X . O . . |
$$ | . O O X O X X X O O O X O X O O . . . |
$$ | . O X O O O O X X O X X X X . . . . . |
$$ | . O X O . . O O O X X . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . X . X . X . O . O . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

When black played the marked move, things were not going according to my original plan. At this point in the game, I thought for a little bit.

I have to admit that your note confused me. You have reduced Black to a mass of quivering protoplasm and you are worried about things not going to plan? I saw your comment about being too close to Black's thickness. You mean that clump of stones there?

So I thought, well, maybe Kirby sees something I don't, and I checked with Deep Leela. DL agrees: A mass of quivering protoplasm. (It gives Black a 10% - 12% chance of winning.)

DL recommends the extension at "a", but your atari at "b" is good, too. DL does not think tenuki at this point.

A couple of more comments from DL.

it considers a small mistake (5%). It prefers the peep at C-12.

After it thinks Black has a 12.5% chance to win the game.

Have a little faith in yourself, Kirby.

Bill Spight wrote:
I have to admit that your note confused me. You have reduced Black to a mass of quivering protoplasm and you are worried about things not going to plan? I saw your comment about being too close to Black's thickness. You mean that clump of stones there?

So I thought, well, maybe Kirby sees something I don't, and I checked with Deep Leela. DL agrees: A mass of quivering protoplasm. (It gives Black a 10% - 12% chance of winning.)

Thanks, Bill. I admit that I felt comfortable at this point in the game. The reason for my comment may be due to a recent interview I heard, where the guy quoted a book by Kasparov. I don't remember the exact quote, but the general idea was that Kasparov would often review games with the intention of reviewing not specific moves, but the mindset that he had when he made mistakes - what was he feeling? Why did he make that move at that time? What was his thought process?

From this perspective, the board position is probably looking not so bad for me. But one learning point that I'd like to keep in mind is that, when my mindset is such that things didn't go totally as I expected, I should remain calm.

Nonetheless, maybe the move I played in the game is not as bad as I thought.

Kirby, you were only 'comfortable' after that huge kill? If you can't come up with a plan, how about passing and asking your opponent to come up with a plan? Would make winning this game a bit more of a challenge.

I should have more time to study go this week. Last Saturday was that state competition for the Korean speech contest. I ended up getting second place out of 8 people. My feelings were mixed. On one hand, I practiced the speech a lot, and felt that I delivered the speech very smoothly. So I felt happy that I performed about as well as I could have imagined. But on the other hand, I saw the winner's speech, and before being judged, I was confident that I had performed better than they had - I thought I was going to win. As a result, it was somewhat painful to get second place - it meant that my image of how well I had performed didn't match up with the judges' image.

I tried to think of why I lost. I couldn't really wrap my head around it - maybe I'm just too arrogant. I came up with two possibilities:
1. My pronunciation might be not as good as I thought - it's hard for me to judge this well, not being a native speaker.
2. The content of my speech was not as personal as the winner's. The winner's speech was more about her own life, whereas mine was more philosophical.

Then I asked my wife what she thought, since she watched the speeches, too. She had a couple of other ideas:
1. I had a hand in one of my pockets during the speech - this could have been a turnoff.
2. She felt that I seemed more nervous at the beginning of my speech than the winner did.

Anyway, who knows? I don't know the criteria the judges used to choose a winner, but anyway, I lost.
---

Then after that, my weekend was still busy. We bought a new house, and have been remodeling. Mostly, we've been hiring contractors to do work, but I saw that they charged a lot of money for taking out existing tile from our bathroom. I figured I could do that work myself, so I told them that.

So since Saturday, I've been ripping up tiles... It's a lot more work than I expected. I did it for a few hours last night, then I got up around 6am this morning, and ripped up more before work. I'm probably about 80% done, now.

---

Then after ripping up tiles, I went to work. The problem is, I had an AYD game at lunchtime. I seriously considered asking my opponent to reschedule, because I am exhausted from the tiles.

But then I remembered how late I stay up at go congresses. I'll be going to the go congress this year, so I expect it to be similar.

Therefore, I need to know how to play go well while being exhausted.

Here is the game:



Unfortunately, I lost.

I think this was a big mistake:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . X O . O . |
$$ | . O O X O O . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . O X , X O . . . , . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . X X X . X O . . . . . . . . X O X . |
$$ | . . . . . X O . . . . . . . X O X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . O . . . . . . . . . X X . |
$$ | . . O . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . . X . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . O O . |
$$ | . . O O O . . . . , . O O O . X X O . |
$$ | . . X X . . X . . . . . . X X . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

And secondly, after making mistake, I think I should adjust my plan:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$B
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . X O . O . |
$$ | . O O X O O . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . O X , X O . . . , . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . X X X . X O . . . . . . . . X O X . |
$$ | . . . . . X O . . . . . . . X O X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . O . . . . . . . . . X X . |
$$ | . . O . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . . X . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . B . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . O . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . O . X . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X . X O O O . |
$$ | . . O O O . . . . , . O O O . X X O . |
$$ | . . X X . . X . . . . . . X X . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I like the move above, rather than being stubborn and pushing forward. Why did I not think of this during the game?

I think I was attached to my original idea.

What I hope to remember is this: when things don't go according to plan, this is a big hint for me: STOP, re-evaluate, and think of the best plan. Maybe it's the same one, but maybe it's different.