Finding Balance in Your Attitude

[SoDesuNe]

From a learning point of view, I think serious games prevent you from trying new things which can be an obstacle in learning.

I can't really understand the argument, that by playing serious you don't want to play "new" moves.
I only play 25 minutes games these days and always try to read out if a move works. Of course I miss a ton of things and responses but at least I'm trying to read it.
Therefore I won't simple stop playing a move because it is new to me but because I think it will not work. Perhabs I concluded this based on a reading error, but then this is not about attitude.
I think you can play as flexible and freely in a game you take serious as in a game you take lightly. The only difference might be that you try your best in the first game, while you might be satisfied with a less promising result in the latter.

[daal]

It's worth thinking about what playing well or poorly means.

For me, when I play well, it means that I am using my time wisely, finding effective moves and maintaining a dispassionate view of the board throughout the game. It means that regarding my chances in the game, I am seeing the cup as half full. Sometimes this results in a win, sometimes it doesn't. Now I ask myself: what allows me to play well, and what prevents me from doing so.

Unlike Kirby, really wanting to win does not seem to be a factor. I always really want to win. Also, I find pretty much all of my games more or less stressful. Calling go a game is misleading. Go is mental warfare, and playing casually as Araban suggests just seems weird to me. Would anyone enter a boxing ring for a casual fight? Well, I guess to spar.

In any case, what allows me to play well is a feeling of confidence, and by this I mean confidence that I will play well. This is however a fragile thing. The events that can shake it before, during or after a game are too many to mention. What is more interesting are the situations in which I manage to keep the tender shoot alive. Preparing myself for the contest is essential. This means eliminating conflicting responsibilities, and reminding myself of my guidelines. Other than that, winning is good for confidence.

[entropi]

From a learning point of view, I think serious games prevent you from trying new things which can be an obstacle in learning.

I can't really understand the argument, that by playing serious you don't want to play "new" moves.
I only play 25 minutes games these days and always try to read out if a move works. Of course I miss a ton of things and responses but at least I'm trying to read it.
Therefore I won't simple stop playing a move because it is new to me but because I think it will not work. Perhabs I concluded this based on a reading error, but then this is not about attitude.
I think you can play as flexible and freely in a game you take serious as in a game you take lightly. The only difference might be that you try your best in the first game, while you might be satisfied with a less promising result in the latter.

Depends on your interpretation of "new". I will try to explain.

Imagine a situation where you consider playing two different joseki variations (A and B). You know A very well and imagine the result to be acceptable for you. You are not comfortable with B and you can easily make "game-over" kind of mistakes. But you think if B works well you will have a good advantage.

Your selection may depend on the "seriousness" of the game you are playing. At least in my case, it surely depends on that.

This is what I mean by "trying new things". It has nothing to do with reading, it's a question of attitude.

EDIT: Note that I chose joseki selection merely as an example. It can also be chosing whether to tenuki or not, when you are not sure if your group is alive. A further example could be chosing a fuseki like diagonal or parallel or chinese or whatever... I mean decisions given at situations where reading every variation is impossible and you have to trust your intuition.

[Stable]

About playing casually... Certainly for me and I suspect for most of us casual playing does not mean that you don't want to win, I'm not sure I even know what it is to play a game and not want to win. That focus is one of the things I appreciate about playing games. For me, when a game is casual I just don't mind (too much) about the result after the fact. This does help me I feel because I can then quickly go to play a few games without too much mental exhaustion and also because I can happily play unusual fuseki (Great Wall fuseki <3) and see what they can teach me about the game.

[tapir]

Being stressed during play or reluctant to play altogether is often a sign of trying to maintain a not yet appropriate (too high) rank, that you gained in a winning streak. Especially common as a shodan disease - many stressed people, who all feel really bad when losing a game, although half of them will inevitably lose. Or in server play, if you only play when you feel at the top of your game.

[Kirby]

Being stressed during play or reluctant to play altogether is often a sign of trying to maintain a not yet appropriate (too high) rank, that you gained in a winning streak. Especially common as a shodan disease - many stressed people, who all feel really bad when losing a game, although half of them will inevitably lose. Or in server play, if you only play when you feel at the top of your game.

This could be the case. Although, it's slightly depressing if it is.

[Mivo]

It seems easier for me to gather this desire to win when I am playing less frequently. It's hard for me to play intensively everyday.

Why is it important to you to only play at your highest, best performance every time you play? I feel that this is an unrealistic expectation and you're putting yourself under immense and undue pressure. This pressure might hold you back more than anything else.

What's the underlying force? I wonder if it's fear. Fear of losing rank? I don't get that vibe from your posts. Fear of stagnation? Fear of "feeling dumb"? Fear of "looking stupid"? It probably doesn't matter, though. If it is fear, it's probably worthwhile remembering that anxiety, phobias, etc. don't go away by themselves. They tend to first lead to avoidance and then slowly but surely limit you increasingly further. In this context, you might end up "feeling up to playing" less and less often, which then does impact your overall performance, giving another excuse to not play.

The solution? To play more, when you want to play (which doesn't necessarily mean you will "feel like it"). Desensitization might be the key, as it is for many anxiety-related issues. The trap is to think too much and do too little. Too much analyzing, too little practice. Gowan's book recommendation may be worth considering, too, though it will only provide ideas. You still have to "do" it. If it is fear, don't let it cripple you, your enjoyment of the game, and your freedom to play when you want to play.

I may be well off here, but I wanted to chip in a few thoughts.

[tapir]

Desensitization might be the key, as it is for many anxiety-related issues. The trap is to think too much and do too little. Too much analyzing, too little practice.

Try some blitz games in between. (You can take a different account for that.)

The pressure to play your best game may actually be harmful, if too strong. If you want to improve (and you = Kirby want that very much as far as I know although you doubt it will happen) you need to be relaxed enough to change your game and your playing habits. But of course it is easier said than done with the nagging feeling of stagnation in your neck, while it is easy to have confidence to let go and try new things when you feel you are improving. Vicious circle.

I doubt that any external method to gain balance is very useful. The only workable way to find balance as a Go player is to find it in your game and use playing as a way to focus and calm down.