Life In 19x19

Personally, I prefer someone to be genuine over some etiquette formula that they've learned from L19.

If someone feels like being a jerk and calls me something less than nice online, it's not pleasant. But that's what they were thinking anyway, so I'd be fooling myself to think that they were a nicer user for saying, "Thank you, sir, for the game", or fake phrase like that.

Bonobo wrote:While we’re all here, I’d like to mention something that really puts me off when it happens, namely when my opponent (IMNVHO big-mouthedly) says “Good luck!”

Why? Because — in my perception — it assumes that …

1. I will need luck to win (i.e. assuming that they are stronger anyway), and that …
2. I will need luck to win (i.e. assuming that my brains are not enough to win the game).

This is what they mean when they say that:

3. "I am saying something friendly"

Kirby wrote:Personally, I prefer someone to be genuine over some etiquette formula that they've learned from L19.

If someone feels like being a jerk and calls me something less than nice online, it's not pleasant. But that's what they were thinking anyway, so I'd be fooling myself to think that they were a nicer user for saying, "Thank you, sir, for the game", or fake phrase like that.

Can I call you sir? Please?

How's this?

"May you play well enough to give me a good game, but not well enough to win."

wineandgolover wrote:

Kirby wrote:Personally, I prefer someone to be genuine over some etiquette formula that they've learned from L19.

If someone feels like being a jerk and calls me something less than nice online, it's not pleasant. But that's what they were thinking anyway, so I'd be fooling myself to think that they were a nicer user for saying, "Thank you, sir, for the game", or fake phrase like that.

Can I call you sir? Please?

Kahbee-sama, onegai desu.

wineandgolover wrote:
Can I call you sir? Please?

As long as you mean it with all of your heart!

Anyway, all I am trying to say is that, in my book (Kahbee-sama's Thoughts to Live By(?)), sincerity trumps etiquette.

Unless you sincerely think I'm Mickey Mouse, I guess

(Yes, 'Kahbee-Sama's Thoughts to Live By' is a book that's full of contradictions!)

I feel with Bonobo on the 'good luck' thing.
On the other hand: although I don't like such a phrase, I try not to take offense.
This expression I was told once, has a different meaning to a native English speaker. It's both a language and cultural thing, I guess, so I just assume he wishes me the best. Some may also have been accustomed to 'gl, hf' because of other online games.

I have made it something of a habit to welcome players with 'hello, have a nice game'.
Not: 'good game', because that also seems a bit awkard to me.
Yes, I wish him/her a good game, but not so good a game that (s)he wins, so in my view I wouldn't be sincere if I said '(have a) good game'.

Anyway, someone might also be offended by my habitual phrase: huh, nice game, I want a fighting game and besides that, I will be the judge of that.

Any (reasonable) greeting better than nothing.

This discussion reminds me of an old Chinese saying at New Year's Eve: 'I wish you receive double what you wish me'.

When someone wishes me a good game and I have not already typed a greeting I respond with "Thank you, same to you."

sybob wrote:This discussion reminds me of an old Chinese saying at New Year's Eve: 'I wish you receive double what you wish me'.

Hi sybob, do you happen to know the original text ?

EdLee wrote:

sybob wrote:This discussion reminds me of an old Chinese saying at New Year's Eve: 'I wish you receive double what you wish me'.

Hi sybob, do you happen to know the original text ?

no, tell me

sybob wrote:no, tell me

No, I've never heard of it, so I'm curious about it.
You were quite specific: it's Chinese, it's old, and it's on New Year's Eve.
Any references ?

Ah, no, sorry.

I heard it somewhere, sometime, long ago. May also be appropriate at other occasions than New Year's Eve...

From where I come from, if it's not an 'official' proverb, we sometimes cite such sayings as 'Chinese wisdom says ...', 'like the old Chinese philosopher said ...', 'like the old Chinese proverb says ...'.
No actual reference. Consider it oral history.
(I am a white European, don't know anything about Chinese. Still, I like to imagine it could well be an actual Chinese proverb though )

Since this thread is about etiquette this sort of "I will pretend this profound-sounding statement is ancient Chinese wisdom" attitude has been common in the West for a long time but is widely frowned upon these days. Just something to keep in mind for next time.

Thank you for your advice, dfan.

It wasn't meant to be pretentious or to exemplify a certain attitude.
I hoped that would be clear, but my apologies if someone took it that way.