Mivo wrote:One thought I had, though, is about how you can tell the difference between not liking an activity anymore and having gotten to the edge of your comfort zone where, in order to make further progress, you have to face some "pain".
Does this mean I stopped liking Go, or does it mean I may have a behaviour flaw that causes me to give up too quickly and have unrealistic expectations?
Differently put, how do you know the difference between a healthy, necessary struggle (is struggle ever necessary or healthy?) and a loss of interest where you just hang onto something for whatever reason? Is it realistic to expect that you'll always have fun with a skill-based, competitive activity that requires continued effort in order to improve? I'm trying to remember if I ever engaged in a past time activity that remained enjoyable at all times even when it started to require commitment, dedication or regular effort, and I can't seem to come up with anything.
I agree. I think this distinction can be really hard to make. In my case, it might also be a third thing: that what I liked about the activity was the initial learning curve, the newness of the activity, the feeling of getting better at something, etc. That can be separate IMO from whether you enjoy the base activity, and it can make this distinction hard to make.
A big issue for me is being sort of addicted to initial learning curves and enjoying the initial improvement that comes with going from zero beginner to low intermediate. There's another thread on that topic, and people often think that people who are always starting new things lack discipline or focus to really become expert at something.
But I think that's a little unfair. I don't think that you can really find out if you like something- "for a lifetime" like it, until you reach a point where your returns have diminished and you're not getting an improvement cookie all the time. At that point you find out whether you like that activity for more than the rewards you've been getting from it, whether it's something you just always want to do.
I can give two examples from my own life: Golf and Skiing. I am probably about the same level in each, but my approach to them is totally different. I can't stand to play Golf badly--it destroys my enjoyment of the game, and because of what I have decided are going to be priorities in my life I can't put in the many many hours that it would take to improve to a level where I wouldn't feel this way. I've mostly given up playing and only play a couple of days per year. I use the time for other stuff like Go.
Skiing, I am also a low-intermediate at, and it would take a huge commitment (better physical condition, spend more time where there is skiing, great expense etc) but I don't care at all about improving. I can go out and ski all day and love it. I pass by the harder hills and just shrug and say "those are too hard for me" and I don't mind. Of course I try to improve and want to improve, but even if I were worse than I am now I would still enjoy doing it.
Does that mean I like skiing but not golf? Not really. But I think it does mean that good performance at golf is a key point of enjoying it whereas performance isn't really that much of an issue for me in skiing. I can see how go would fit into the former for people but I can also see it being the other way--I see people at the Go club or at the tournament I went to who obviously just enjoy being there and playing and don't care about improving.
This is an important subject for me personally, as I am a compulsive "jack of all trades until intermediate level then I pick something new", and I have had to do a lot of soul-searching about it through life.
One thing I am now sure of: In that spot for me where improvement returns diminish, it is dangerous to my wallet! That's when I finally buy the new golf clubs or guitar or whatever because I think I'm investing in the next level of dedication, but it often turns out that I'm really trying to rekindle interest in something that I've reached the end of my time with. Several times I have, after reaching intermediate at something, finally made the big purchase and then rarely pursued the activity again.
But I do think that taking a break, unless you've got the big tournament coming up or something, is really a cure-all for a lot of this. If I take a break from something and I don't miss it, I have my answer. If I find myself spontaneously going back to it or wondering when the break will be over, I'm clearly not done with it.
But if I open a game I played last year, or two years ago, and look over it, there are many indicators that I have become stronger, and I find that satisfying. "Competing" with myself rather than others is more "healthy" for me and doesn't make me feel inadequate. A side effect is that it makes me appreciate myself a little more.
