Just finished the game that I think could be the most indicative of how my games usually go. An iconic game you could say.
I'm very embarrassed for playing this way, but no matter what I try to do, I can't ever fix it.
Using age or external factors as an excuse I don't consider pleasant. Those are mistakes and they're all my mistakes, regardless of the exterior (level of concentration, mood, number of distractions, etc).
This was a game against a very iconic "asian" 7 kyu player. You can find them everywhere - tygem, fox, oro. The game itself was played on OGS.
Many people describe this style as aggressive, but in reality it's just the mindset that is aggressive - the moves themselves are usually daring, but also cherishing. If you play correctly against this style, you'll find the opponent helping you most of the time, rather than actually posing a threat.
The game started in a regular way with these opponents. Here was the first decision, between A (or keima) and B. Due to the existence of C I chose the former, but I'm not sure if the position would be good for me had white defended against C and I'd be forced to play B or maybe cap that stone.
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$$ | . . . X . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . W . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . b . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . O c . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
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$$ | . . a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
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$$ | . . W . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . b . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . O c . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
Here another decision. I prefer picking B in positions like this just because I like territory. But on this board I also chose B because if anything I have stones at C to run forward, if it will be necessary.
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . b . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . W . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . a . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . c . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . X X . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . b . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . W . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . a . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . c . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . X X . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
Here yet another decision in which I chose the territorial one. The shape move is B and leela prefers B as well, but I like moves like A. With B I know that I reduce the liberties and ruin the shape, but I can't see where my profit will be from this situation.
I thought that if black pushes at B as a response, I'll extend and ruin his shape anyway, so if he defends elsewhere I should be up on territory after enclosing at C a bit later.
Leela disagrees with my decision, but unfortunately she can't speak, so I couldn't ask her why so.
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . a . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . b X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . c . . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . W . . . . X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . a . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . b X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . c . . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . W . . . . X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
This was my first major directional mistake I think. I chose to connect up the 2 stones with A, but the obviously right move was B. Regardless of whether or not I would be able to save B, just at least extending the cutting stones once would already be extremely good for black.
Leela agrees with that, she says that B is the only move.
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . X X . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . b X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O W O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . X X . a . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . X X . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . b X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O W O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . X X . a . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
At this point of the game, I'm extremely ahead, which is expected against a weaker opponent. However, this is where the pricking starts.
There goes the first move.
In this position I usually consider A or B. I thought that after playing A I should be able to hane at C if white pushes. After that, the shape is well known - white can't get anything better than the "straight J group" in the corner, which is ko.
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . b . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . W . c X X . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . a . X . . O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . O X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O O O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . O O O X X O X O O X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . X X X X O O X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O X X X X X X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . O . O . O . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . O O . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X O O X X . . O . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . X . . . X X . X . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . X O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O X . . . . . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . b . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . W . c X X . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . a . X . . O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . O X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O O O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . O O O X X O X O O X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . X X X X O O X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O X X X X X X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . O . O . O . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . O O . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X O O X X . . O . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . X . . . X X . X . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . X O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O X . . . . . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
The game went this way.
The opponent chose the J shape, which is unconditionally dead. I proceeded in "killing" it, but this is where the fun began.
After this cut, I missed the fact that I can push at A, let white take the stone and connect up with my group on the right side. This would've been a false eye and everything would've been just fine.
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$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . X . O . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | O . O . O X . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | X O O O X X X . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X O X W a O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . X X . . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . O X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O O O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . O O O X X O X O O X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . X X X X O O X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O X X X X X X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . O . O . O . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . O O . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X O O X X . . O . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . X . . . X X . X . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . X O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O X . . . . . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . X . O . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | O . O . O X . . . . . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | X O O O X X X . . O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X O X W a O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . X X . . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . O X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O O O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . O O O X X O X O O X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . X X X X O O X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O X X X X X X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . O . O . O . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . O O . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X O O X X . . O . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . X . . . X X . X . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . X O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O X . . . . . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
But I connected the stone, creating a semeai between my stones on the right side and white's J group.
I've made this exchange, which is fine, but here leela rates A as 70% for black and B as <50% for black. I could not read that far and I was convinced that I can get C in sente (sente part being a threat to connect up) even if white pushes at D first. This was my evaluation.
$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . X . O a X . . c . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | O . O . O X . . X W . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | X O O O X X X d b O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X O X O O O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . X X X . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . O X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O O O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . O O O X X O X O O X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . X X X X O O X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O X X X X X X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . O . O . O . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . O O . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X O O X X . . O . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . X . . . X X . X . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . X O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O X . . . . . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . X . O a X . . c . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | O . O . O X . . X W . X . . . . . . . |
$$ | X O O O X X X d b O O X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X O X O O O O . O X . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . X X X . . . . O X X . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . O X O . . X X . X . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O O O O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . . . X O O . |
$$ | . . O . . . O O O X X O X O O X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . X X X X O O X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O X X X X X X O O . |
$$ | . . O . O . . . . . . . . . X O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . O . O . O . X O . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . O O . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . O X O O X X . . O . . X . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . X . . . X X . X . . , O . . |
$$ | . . . O X X X . . . . . X O . O . . . |
$$ | . . . O O O X . . . . . . X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
Unfortunately, I completely missed the fact that white's block could put me in atari. It only occurred to me when I connected against the first atari.
This was a very big loss. I checked the SE quickly and found out that I'm now behind by about 15 points.
I thought that it was still ok - I had a lot of favorable endgame, so I decided to give it a shot.
The game went as follows:
I was consumed by the endgame evaluations and didn't really give the last white's move a second thought.
My thought process after seeing this move was: defending 2 stones? That's probably small now. Could I even poke that elephant's eye? Anyway, looks like an inefficient local move.
So I played elsewhere and got cut.
There isn't much to say. I tried a few things and managed to cut white in sente in order to attempt for a capturing race, but it was obviously unwinnable.
And on this note, I lost to a 7 kyu.
I'm not sure how I can fix it. I'm having this kind of issue for a few years now and it prevents me from playing better players, and therefore, improving faster.
I think that my win rate against 4k-8k players is almost exactly the same - the stronger ones don't try to play "these hopeless kinda moves" and the weaker ones play them constantly and make me blunder.
I've gotten over irritation and depression regarding this topic, so I've kind of accepted it already. But it's still unpleasant to me that it doesn't go away naturally. Even as I get stronger at reading - I've improved my fighting drastically since a few years ago, and yet these blunders remain in my game.
As I mentioned in the previous post, they're so consistent that I plan my game around them in order to maximize the winning chances.
I probably won't be posting reviews of games like these here anymore, one is enough. They happen all the time and it's how Go is for me. So there's no point going over more than just one of them. About 90% of the time they're reading blunders, the other 10% is maybe worth going over sometimes.