This is my experience too, except I'm normally quite comfortable in the yose even if I'm pretty weak still there.

A while after becoming shodan, I came up with a definition:

Being shodan means that you always have some idea where to play. It may not be a good idea, but at least you have some idea.

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

Today went very well, myself and Tomukaze were kept busy teaching people almost from 11am to 6pm.

Oh, and I beat Tom even for the first time during one of the lull periods but unfortunately I didn't record it.

Actually I feel utterly enthused about go from seeing so many new people get so excited about the game. Teaching people might just do wonders for my interest in this game.

My confidence about my go is a bit better after the game with Tom. To be fair he was distracted during it with a second game even against a "15k" (we're guesstimating the guy's rank, he'd not played in years) so it wasn't a real victory but still it was a nice change from losing all the time!

Things are quiet go playing wise for me, I've been busy enough with the go club. We had our first meeting last night and had 14 people show up which was great! My only game of the week was a game with the local EGF 2k on 6 stones. We didn't finish it, I think she had it won but it felt "comfortable" as a handicap. I didn't feel horribly out of my depth. I'm fitting in tsumego and tesuji problems where I can during my day so I'm not totally neglecting go. I'll get a serious game in on Sunday most likely, depending on how many beginners show up and how much teaching I have to do.

Edit: The Lithium seems to be suiting me. We'll see how things pan out as the dose is increased but I'm in excellent form at the moment.

Two teaching games today giving 9 stones whilst helping the players. This makes for a very tough game but hopefully a good teaching experience. My iPad was being used as another go board so I couldn't record the games. It's really nice, we're getting (relatively) a lot of new players and they seem to be finding the game very interesting.

It's an absolute pleasure to teach and while yes, it will slow down my own progress in the game I'm not finding myself minding at all.

Nice to read this

about 95% of my games are IRL, and are against weaker players, either the beginners in the local school’s Go workshop that I initiated, or the players in the local Go club that meets every Friday evening. The strongest players currently need 5 stones on 13x13, but they are getting stronger. I’m finding that my ambition to get stronger myself is subordinate to my wanting to become a better Go teacher, so besides reading and playing a few games on servers every now and then I concentrate on the kids in the workshop and the other players in the Go club. I also lend books to them (most of which are kindly provided by the German Go Association DGoB and Steffi Hebsacker of the German Go store Hebsacker Verlag).


BTW if you have that iPad and take it to the Go Club—EasyGo may appeal to you, it’s a Tsumego app, you can also record and edit your own SGF with it, but most important to me, as I found out, is the ability to create different user profiles … so now the kids in the Go workshop and the players in the Goclub all have their own profile in EasyGo and enjoy practising Tsumego with it, while being able to see a nice progress there.

No wonder, with that cordial and enthusiastic a teacher


Maybe your progress in Go itself may be slowed down … for a while only—because I believe seeing so many beginners’s mistakes will help understand the beginner’s mind better, and having to explain things to others needs your own reflection, and by reflecting you’ll grow stronger … but much more important: Your progress as a human will be greatly propelled. Hey, you are teaching, and you have the opportunity to enjoy that people enjoy you showing and doing something that you enjoy … from my own teaching experience (not only Go) I know nothing that’s better. Well, wild sex perhaps.

Just enjoy yourself being a good edutainer, and your audience will learn and enjoy, enjoy and learn. It’s fun to grow that way, together.


Thanks again for sharing!

_________________
“The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.” — Salvador Dali ★ Play a slooooow correspondence game with me on OGS?

Nice comments there Bonobo, in particular that which you minimized. Here I think I will maximise it; to say that in contrast to teaching which I have done alot of, WILD WILD SEX has a certain pleasure that is no comparison.
@ Boihdre, apologies for this non 囲碁　related post. However I must say that teaching is absolutely one of the most enjoyable and simultaneously the most frustrating job there is, personally I love the drama, excitement and joy of it.

P.S. Glad you are in good spirits!

_________________
我が道を行く。
I'll do it my way....

I've been struggling a lot with depression the past few weeks during the mornings and afternoons. I'm incapable of doing anything during them. My evenings are taken up by the kids and I've been trying to sleep like normal people do, so I'm left with precious little time for hobbies. If it wasn't for the go club at the moment I'd not be playing at all I don't think. Thursday my Lithium dose will almost certainly be increased, so that should help with things.

In go related news, UCC Go Club, based in Cork in Ireland, will be holding their annual go tournament between the 17th and 18th of November. All strengths welcomed. Once I have more details I'll post them up, who knows one of you may like to visit us?

With all the usual caveats of I'm depressed at the moment etc a game finally:

I gave up pretty much at this point, my concentration wasn't good enough to play on.



I feel I played fairly poorly, especially in the bottom left. Edit: Top right. As Bill would say, I was channelling my inner ddk tonight. :p

I played a second game against a Hungarian ex-5k even (he hadn't played in 10 years so we figured even was fair enough), I was winning big enough until I misread something in the endgame and didn't protect a cut and a dragon came back to life as they do.


My psychiatrist today had her concerned face on for the entire session, instead of the usual 400mg-600mg increase in Lithium I'm doubling to 800mg starting tonight and probably another increase within two weeks after a blood test. I'm also being left on the benzodiazepine which surprised me as I expected to be taken off of it, these being highly addictive.

Nice game.

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

Thank you Bill for the detailed comments as always.

Not go related but a whine:

So I'm depressed at the moment, my big worry is last year I got depressed in October too and it lasted until March (and this wasn't the first time this had happened) when my mood picked up for a month and I discovered go. I'm really worried this will be another 5 month depression. My psychiatrist hopes the Lithium will deal with the depression (it does for many, many people), so do I but as the depression becomes more insidious and embedded into my life I start having doubts (which would be a symptom in and of itself ). All I know is in the last 12 months I've spent more time depressed than not.


What has this to do with go? When depressed I lack any motivation to play or to study and when I play I'm several stones weaker due to poor concentration/distractibility. Just like my other main interests suffer: classical music and general science. Obviously it impacts on my ability to work and be a good parent/husband also.

So yeah, I'm worried.

Rough plan with go, mainly to try and improve concentration whilst I'm like this, is to continue to work on problems, mainly on gochild. The idea being that my concentration might improve with regular use whilst depressed. That's the hope anyway. How good I'll be about doing this I don't know, depends on how depressed I get and any side effects from the Lithium (it's associated with cognitive dulling and a general dazed feeling which are not exactly optimal for anything involving intense concentration).

Anyway, enough whining.

I`m really sorry to hear you`re having a tough time. Please make sure you keep in close contact with your doctor.

Maybe it will do a little good if one evening you did something to make your wife feel beautiful and special. I don`t know..but, if you could try and bring her some romance it might make you feel special.

You say you have trouble with concentrating. I have two ideas that may help. One, do you have a quiet place to go to for reading books or just relaxing? Since I set up my go room, I noticed that it induced a very calm, relaxed mood in me, and that was a suprise benefit.

The other idea might be to relabel "concentration" as "pay attention". Somehow, if I say to myself "concentrate!", it just feels distracting, but if I "pay attention" then I, well, pay attention to what I`m doing. I don`t know why it works, but it does.

Take care!

_________________
Learn the "tea-stealing" tesuji! Cho Chikun demonstrates here:

Don't worry I'm under strict instructions to ring my doctor if certain symptoms occur. Mainly mania related ones.

My wife doesn't do romance, she's the more utilitarian type so she's happier with me taking the kids this morning for four hours so she could rest up after her trip rather than me appearing with flowers.

Concentration, I find the same as you, recasting it as paying attention helps focus the mind somewhat but I still have problems. I'll post up a game I played later and you can see throughout it that I'm just not paying attention to the board.

Thank you for your thoughts though.

Just to show how bad my concentration/play is at the moment:



Result W+30 odd. I know the misread I made in the bottom right. Just not concentrating.

I also have no idea what I'm doing in 9 stone games which doesn't really help.

Edit: B+30 odd not W+30 obviously. Bleh.

I`ve looked through your game, and my conclusion is that you`re being much too hard on yourself.

There are many little tactical errors that will greatly reduce with practice: practice of doing life and death, and practice of playing slightly stronger opponents.

It`s easy to blunder late in a game because your brain is awash with information. You`ve only been playing go for a year, so it`s all very new information. Now, even top professionals occasionally go horribly wrong in the late endgame (a certain Mr Fujisawa for instance), and they`re much more used to handling go information than you are, so you can forgive yourself for overlooking 236.

Some of your moves are very interesting and others are simply very good (IMO). For example, W5 at p16 looks sharp. Again, the ladder break at W53 may not have achieved your primary aim (saving the laddered stones), but in return you got a free move in Black`s sphere of influence in the centre and indirect support for your invasion at 61. Finally 101 at J3 struck me as a nice, calm and big move.

Just keep trying and give it time. It will surely come together.

_________________
Learn the "tea-stealing" tesuji! Cho Chikun demonstrates here:

Not even a year Tami, I'd been playing a week when I started this journal, though my wife says it seems like I've always been playing it.

Thank you for your comments.

Actually, thinking about it Tami part of the problem today was the length of the game. It went on for 2 hours. My mental stamina reserves are quite low at the moment for obvious reasons and that might explain the blunders in the latter part of the game.

Hmm, concentration is a good deal better today, I finished the last 100 problems in the 1000 Intermediate L&D set on gochild quickly with not many mistakes. Maybe the Lithium is kicking in a bit more? Hopefully. My mood is still "off" but I'm more goal focused today which is a good thing I think.

Now to restart the 1000. I want to do them until I'm getting 95%+ correct first time at a good speed.