A hard loss and a hard-fought win
(Oh boy, a title...
)
So I played 2 games today. One on KGS and one on IGS.
The first game on the KGS was a difficult one. I wasn't feeling great physically, but I wanted to play a game anyway. Go with a headache is a bit like go with an opponent's handicap.
(Excuses, excuses. A pro could beat the folks you play with a headache while blindfolded and giving them a 13 stone handicap.
)
The game went as many of my losses do. I mostly played for territory, my opponent got lots of influence. I saw a weak group. I tried to kill the weak group when I didn't have influence. I failed to kill the weak group. I messed around for 20 or so moves and then resigned.
Later I was feeling better, but while my head was stronger, my loss had weakened my pride quite a bit. I have been doubting my sudden climb to KGS 3-4k because of the games that got me there.
(You mean the guy that let you kill everything and the one that played the bad ladder? You mean those games weren't testaments to your newfound skill?
) I thought it would be nice to play a non-KGS game and I thought IGS would be a good choice since I have nothing to lose there - I've never even won a game on that server anyway.
(Yeah, why'd you have to go and ruin that fun stat?)
The game started okay, but went south as soon as I got greedy - as usual. I foolishly cut at

trying to preserve my side points and keep black split. In response black was able to kill my group, but not without giving me a few free moves as ko threats. My choice - build outside influence and play the san-ren-sei.
(But you hate playing for influence and you hate that fuseki!?!
) I hate playing for influence and I really hate the san-ren-sei, but I felt that was my best bet if I wanted to win after that.
(I just told them that... you know, you really should listen to me from time to time.
)
I started going for that influence and building up with pushes and hanes. At

I played a long-knight's enclosure to my 4-4 and waited for my opponent's reply. He gave me a chance by approaching on the inside and I attacked his group. I killed half of it and then tried to build up the upper right. Sadly, my opponent invaded the 3-3. However, I had enough strength that I played the super aggressive variation. My opponent lived in gote and then I extended along the right to undercut him. At this point I was behind. I was counting on and off trying to estimate the score and I could see I was losing. I had to make almost the whole center mine. Thankfully, my opponent extended on the left instead of going to reduce my influence. I capped him at

to build my center while threatening to attack his group again.
(You know what a cap is? Well, I guess it gets played against you enough that it should be in your vocabulary...) At move 104 I offered up a sacrificial lamb to secure the left side. Peeped at 114 and finished my walling off at 116. I let black make reductions here and there, but with that center I was back in the game.
(See, maybe playing for influence is your calling? Imagine: moyoaji - this generation's Takamiya Masaki!
)
Even so, I counted that I was behind about about 20 points. So I played 126 to probe black and he let me make an amazing reduction of about 10 points that ended up being the difference in the game. An overplay at 185 ended up costing black his chance of reducing my corner and so I was able to win by 8.5 points.
(And we all learned a valuable lesson about friendship.
)
This game has again taught me the value of learning how to count. The only reason I played the way I did was because of counting. My securing of the center and probing were choices I made because I saw I was behind. Knowing the score is critical and I know I will get faster and better as I count more each game. I can easily see myself improving a few stones just by knowing what I have to do to win and when I can play more conservatively to avoid throws.
(But watching you throw is so much fun!
)