As an outside observer, you seem very confident that you should win. You should know, Violence isn't that much weaker than you (on KGS he's usually 2-3d, and the middle-game is when he is strongest. He's pulled off many wins against people who are rated stronger. Underestimating your opponent is one of the most dangerous things you can do. Assuming that you "deserve" a win is the quickest way to put yourself on tilt.

I think the best way to calm your nerves is to recognize that he's decent, and remove your ego from the equation, it will become much easier to play your kind of game again.

EDIT: that being said, I think you SHOULD talk about how you pick moves to try to get back into the game, weaker players would benefit from that

if he block be from top i thik he will have some problem. let me see how he answer this move.
he is playing the game very sloppy. leaving toomuch aji and giving me chance to comeback.

thank you for your kind advice..
2-3 dan in kgs is definitely weaker than i am. i usually dont lose to 3D in KGS so i shouldnt lose to him on even game. not only that..i can see from his comment that he is weaker.
it is the grudge i got from the comment he put on kirby-magicwand game that rattled my emotion.
i was waiting for this match and wanted to show him that he is not of equal strength.
it is more than overconfidence...i wanted to show him that i can beat him whatever way he choose to play.
well...i guess not

I understand not writing thoughts when the sequences have already been discussed, but you've played some real humdingers in the past 10-15 moves, it would be nice to see some of your thoughts...