Thank you for your thoughts. You helped me see a lot of things I didn't think about.
A lot of the ideas lead to needing a big score in the center. I think if I could have ever got a move in the lower left corner in sente the game would have been a lot easier.
I think it also would have helped if I had probed H11 sooner. Knowing how white was going to play there I could have changed the plan for a lot of my moves.

I think this is what I wanted in the game. I don't think black can link N17 to the left side thanks to G17. It's joseki but I think N17 might be a pain once D15 gets stronger.

I think you're definitely right about this. Or at least if I'm playing like this I should follow up with your J4 sequence then Q12 and P9 isn't necessary?
fwiw I think if I had played Q6 then P9 would have been correct.

Well my thought was C3 is big but the other side is open so I should try to close it first.
I'm curious how J4 would have gone though. Once I play that way I'm definitely getting 0 points and I'm never getting a base in the corner but maybe that's okay because C3 is never sente for black.
I can't help but feel like the center is too open to try to take.
Maybe G13 @

first, get black to commit to J11 and then do J4

Yeah. I see what you mean. Maybe H5 first and try to get into the side? But if I'm going to play something like this is J4 at

better?
Actually maybe

bad timing. I should play against L4 first and then play O5
I think C3 is worth 15 points? 7 points for white 8 points if black had it instead.
w126 I think tenuki is possible. Maybe L8. follow up at K9 or N8 depending how black responds.
After writing this all I think maybe it is me overvaluing C3. After J4 C3 is small for white and therefore smaller for black. Right?