The Empty Triangle

[sparky314]

I do! I was considering Shokyuu (the first book) but wanted to include some tesuji as well, since GGPfBv4 was mostly life and death. And tesuji is slightly more enjoyable.

Shokyuu is definitely on my list after both LCH L&D/Tesuji volume 3.

(Also, I'm an obsessive book collector...)

[sparky314]

I've been sick the past two weeks, along with nerves, so not any games. Finally played 2 tonight, and lost horribly. One game was a failed joseki and giving away all the influence (and following my opponent)...the other, a DDK reading mistake in the first 20 moves. Ugh. Definitely not breaking into 2 kyu with this attitude. I really need to play (and review more games).

I need to catch up on Relentless, but haven't had much time to study over an actual board. I could just read it, but I think the sequences would be better over the board. Then again, if I just read it, I can at least comment on the study thread...

On the positive side, I finally finished the last 30 problems in GGPfBv4. They were much easier to read through. Maybe due to reading through half of 501 Tesuji and Maeda.

Goal is to play 50 games before the end of the year (1 game every 2 days).

Honestly, it might be a good idea to stop doing tesuji/tsumego and just play games every day until I can overcome this anxiety. My only fear is getting into bad habits...I have plenty as is, what's a few more? I enjoy problems, a lot, but the anxiety is a killer when playing games.

I don't know. Advice is welcome.

[sparky314]

I do like John Fairbairn's advice in this thread about playing over hundreds of pro games over a "short" period. But I don't think I'm strong enough yet for it to be beneficial. I'd like to get to 1 dan before going through that process.

[jeromie]

I think that you're strong enough that playing over professional games could be beneficial. Remember, the point of his advice is to expose your brain to a lot of patterns, not understand all of the moves you see. Your current study methods seem to be working well, though, so maybe you don't have reason to change things up for now.

We should set up another game sometime. Maybe it would be easier to get back into the rhythm of playing if it was with someone you (sort of) know.

Anxiety is a tricky thing in general. I don't tend to feel it (strongly) around go, but I'm very susceptible to it in other areas of my life. My only go specific advice is to put each game in perspective: ask yourself, "Will I care about the result of this game when I'm a dan player?" For me, anxiety only grows worse when I avoid the source. Does yours diminish when you play a few games?

[sparky314]

It's definitely easier to play someone I know. I have no issues playing against friends over the board.

My anxiety goes away after the first 10-20 moves of a game. The second game is usually much easier to start. And if I'm playing regularly, then its a lot easier to start a game. Afterwards, I don't regret games (even if I'm lose them all), but some days are harder to start a game than others.

And the answer to your other question: No, definitely won't care about my current results. Even today, I lost, but I'm okay with it.

[Majordomo]

On game anxiety - Starting is the hardest! - so many evenings I've sat thinking I kind of want to play but not dared to start one until it was too late and then I have the excuse that I need to get up in the morning.

Is it a fear that you won't play well? That you don't feel in the "right" mode for a game and so should avoid it? I know I make a lot of excuses for myself for why I won't just start a game (some legit most not). In particular rank anxiety gets me, so I feel attached to my account and my record (which isn't even good so I don't know why). To combat this I've once again struck out from KGS - making an account on IGS with the intent that it will be my "when I just want to dabble" account and that I've sworn to to care about it, even if I have to adjourn started games (which result in losses on IGS). It's also in part to make me try new things, new fuseki or things I'd not feel comfortable with when I play games on my account that "matters" (which it doesn't - just a mentality). Maybe that's something to consider? Tygem or IGS also have the advantage of a much larger player-base!

On Pro games - I think it's worth it to try out, whatever your rank. I think a lot less of it lies in understanding anything, but more a source of inspiration and "absorption". Just seeing the shapes that arise, their direction of play, their invasions and reductions and let it lodge in the back of your mind. Especially since you're as good at doing problems as you are pro games might make for good study since you maybe can make connections where you see a tesuji you know play out on board - thus giving it context beyond just a "problem".

[sparky314]

Fear of not playing at my level. Expectations really, I expect to play better than I am, or at least well enough to warrant a good game for my opponent, and it's a fear of not matching those expectations.

I have a tygem account for my not-quite-as-serious games. It's not quite as anxiety producing, but still difficult to start a game.

Thanks both for the advice.

[Majordomo]

Yeah, that's the same with me, though I care not so much that I'm a worthy opponent - more that my play will not be at the level that I want it to be (conundrum - it won't get there if I don't play hehe). You could start another account - I've gone through the process before, creating new accounts once I find myself getting too attached to one - it keeps it level until hopefully it will go away altogether.

[sparky314]

Starting new accounts don't usually help much for me. :/

[sparky314]

I was just accepted into grad school. Between work and school, I won't have much time for studying. I'll try to get in regular games and tsumego, but I doubt I'll have much time.

I still have 2 1/2 months before school starts. But some of that will have to be spent on prep for the program.

[Bill Spight]

I was just accepted into grad school. Between work and school, I won't have much time for studying. I'll try to get in regular games and tsumego, but I doubt I'll have much time.

I still have 2 1/2 months before school starts. But some of that will have to be spent on prep for the program.

Good luck!

[sparky314]

Good luck!

Thanks Bill!

[sparky314]

Took a semester off due to starting on medications that were debilitating. So more time for go!

So this is kind of an update.

I've been playing online more as well as visiting the local go club. Hit 1 dan on foxy, but that's about 2-3k on KGS, so I'm about where I was. I'm okay with that, I'm just trying to get in more games.

I've decided to switch up how I study. Before it was nothing but tsumego/tesuji, which I enjoy. But I've started memorizing pro games as well. This includes Shusaku and Chen Yaoye, switching between the two. I find Chen Yaoye's games fairly easy to memorize, since it's modern. But then I go through Shusaku's games, and it takes a while due to the vastly different style, joseki, and era. It's still very entertaining, but I feel like Chen's games are easier to understand. I'm not always studying the games, but just memorizing them, with occasionally playing out a couple of variations when I don't quite understand a move. "Understand" a move. I'm not doing it over a real board, just KGS editor and 1-page kifus. I can remember it the next day, but quickly forget them. That's okay though, because the point is to memorize as many as possible.

Today, I started reviewing one of Shusaku games, and half way through, I thought it looked familiar. I looked it up, and it was the ear-reddening game! That was a pleasant surprise. I memorized up to move 204.

I have about 3 more months before school starts up again. Hope to have 50 memorized games by then, if not more. In addition to playing 100+ more games (game a day).

Also, thanks to Logan for the PDF on Chen Yaoye. For Shusaku, I used a couple of database tools and pulled about 160 games between 1844-1861. I plan on reading Invincible in it's full length later (with all the variations) to understand what's going on, but for now, just memorizing the games.

[jeromie]

Glad to have you posting again.

[sparky314]

Thanks Jeromie! We'll have to play again on KGS, soon!