@Shaddy: It's good to know that I'm not the only one. Thanks for letting me know this.
@bayu: I apologize for my attitude. It's probably not completely due to this game. Sometimes I have a hard time with other things in my life, for example, and it makes me doubt what I'm doing in general. Given my history with Malkovich games, I should realize this by now, but usually over the course of a game that lasts several days, my emotions go up and down. It's really weird playing such a long game. When I play a game online, I can sit down in one setting and finish the game. I usually wait until I'm in a good mindset if I want to play seriously. I can do that with Malkovich games, but over the over the course of several days, my mindset changes, and sometimes it's not that stable. The solution is probably to only play moves when I'm in a good mindset, but sometimes I'm anxious about the result. I want to see what will happen, after all!
Sometimes I also feel intimidated when strong players recognize and point out my poor play, and it makes me feel nervous to try. Practically speaking, I should take this as an opportunity to fix myself. Maybe ultimately, I'm too arrogant to do that, sometimes... So why am I arrogant? I don't know the answer to this question. Maybe it's because I'm already 29 and a good percentage of my life has passed, and ultimately I have a limited time living, and I will die eventually. It's good to be able to change yourself when you're wrong about something, and that's probably the way to improve. But then, what have I been doing for the last 5 years or so since I haven't improved since then?
I'm faced with the conclusion that I'm not going to be the best at this game, and I'm going to die, and I don't have enough time to conquer it... My life is passing by, and in the end...
What were we talking about, again?
Oh yeah, let's see if I can live in this moyo. I'll probably die, but I'll try to make it interesting for observers.
@bayu: I apologize for my attitude. It's probably not completely due to this game. Sometimes I have a hard time with other things in my life, for example, and it makes me doubt what I'm doing in general. Given my history with Malkovich games, I should realize this by now, but usually over the course of a game that lasts several days, my emotions go up and down. It's really weird playing such a long game. When I play a game online, I can sit down in one setting and finish the game. I usually wait until I'm in a good mindset if I want to play seriously. I can do that with Malkovich games, but over the over the course of several days, my mindset changes, and sometimes it's not that stable. The solution is probably to only play moves when I'm in a good mindset, but sometimes I'm anxious about the result. I want to see what will happen, after all!
Sometimes I also feel intimidated when strong players recognize and point out my poor play, and it makes me feel nervous to try. Practically speaking, I should take this as an opportunity to fix myself. Maybe ultimately, I'm too arrogant to do that, sometimes... So why am I arrogant? I don't know the answer to this question. Maybe it's because I'm already 29 and a good percentage of my life has passed, and ultimately I have a limited time living, and I will die eventually. It's good to be able to change yourself when you're wrong about something, and that's probably the way to improve. But then, what have I been doing for the last 5 years or so since I haven't improved since then?
I'm faced with the conclusion that I'm not going to be the best at this game, and I'm going to die, and I don't have enough time to conquer it... My life is passing by, and in the end...
What were we talking about, again?
Oh yeah, let's see if I can live in this moyo. I'll probably die, but I'll try to make it interesting for observers.
