WednesdayIt's getting better now. I'm starting to play games, slowly and seriously. Now I feel like being back to ddk, where I tried to read every move.
At the beginning of the first game, I was a bit unease. Having been playing too many blitz games, I found myself lost in searching for the right move. And the mistake in the begining of the game give me an impulse to resign again. I stopped and spoke one or two words with oren in the L19 room, and after feel less pressure I went back in reading. My second game is a simul. My opponent played 8 players at the same time. And I am the last one to finish the game. Because it's a simul, i have more time to read and play the game on my pace, which delighted me. My opponent wasn't too happy at the end when my game was the only one left and i still used 3 minutes for one move.

I did not have the two games fully reviewed, but I had my main questions answered.
And as the frequent updates of the journal may cause issues to some players on the forum, I'll modefy it to a weekly basis by editing the last post in the week.
Tsumego..................0Tesuji.......................0 Books.......................NoneGames......................2Pro game study........None*******************************
[sgf-full](;GM[1]FF[4]CA[UTF-8]AP[CGoban:3]ST[2]
RU[Japanese]SZ[19]HA[5]KM[0.50]TM[60]OT[1x180 byo-yomi]
PW[Kyouko]PB[Snowcat]WR[4d]BR[5k]DT[2010-08-04]PC[The KGS Go Server at
http://www.gokgs.com/]AB[dd][pd][jj][dp][pp]C[Snowcat [5k\]: pizza
Snowcat [5k\]: remind myself
Kyouko [4d\]: TR hf
Snowcat [5k\]: hf
]RE[W+11.50]
;W[fq]WL[16.002]
;B[ip]BL[57.651]
;W[fo]WL[3.433]
;B[dn]BL[54.838]
;W[iq]WL[180]OW[1]C[This is an uncommon move for me.
I don't want to help white with his shape like playing hane; but at the same time K4 looks too defensive and give white easy settlement.
But I don't know where should I play.]
;B[gp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gq]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[hq]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[hr]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[hp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[jq]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ep]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[eq]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[eo]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[er]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[fr]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ir]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[jr]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[gs]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gr]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fs]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[is]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[do]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gn]WL[180]OW[1]C[Is black 5 stones or white 4 stones weaker?
I did not get much profit by chasing his group and I do not know the shape here]
;B[in]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gl]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[il]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[dk]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fm]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gm]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fn]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[go]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[dl]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ek]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fl]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gk]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fk]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[fj]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[gj]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[hj]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[gi]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ik]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[jk]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[hi]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[gh]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[hh]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[gg]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[dg]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ei]BL[180]OB[1]C[E11 is a compromise. I was always worried about the K8 cut so i think to settle the black group in sente and get back to k8.
Do I have a way for more severes attack?]
;W[di]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ej]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[dj]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[jl]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[jh]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[mq]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[qn]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[qp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[qk]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[lr]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[kp]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[lo]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[lp]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[mp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ko]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[jn]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[kn]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[pm]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[qm]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[pk]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[pj]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[qj]BL[180]OB[1]C[This part of game, black did not deal it well, I somehow remember Jenny 2P's cut here but did not know the follow up]
;W[pl]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ok]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ol]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[nk]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[qi]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[rj]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ph]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[nl]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[kr]WL[180]OW[1]C[This was a mis-read, should have played k4 first]
;B[ks]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[lq]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[om]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ql]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[qg]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ri]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[pg]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[og]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[of]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ng]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ji]BL[180]OB[1]C[K11? Now i need to take care of my center group and attack white. But how?]
;W[kh]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ih]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ig]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ii]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[hg]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[jg]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[jf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[kg]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[lh]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[lf]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[nf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ld]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[oe]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[if]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[hf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ie]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[he]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[id]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[hd]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fd]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ic]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[jd]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[jc]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[kc]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gc]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fc]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[fe]WL[180]OW[1]C[I reviewed it later here and cannot find a way to stop white either connect back or make a huge eye]
;B[gd]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ff]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ef]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[eg]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fg]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ee]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ce]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[df]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[de]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[qf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[pe]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[pf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[qe]BL[180]OB[1]C[Should be p16 here?
]
;W[ke]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[kd]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[od]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[pc]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[oc]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[mc]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ob]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[lb]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[le]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[me]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[lg]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[jb]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ib]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[pb]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[nb]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ka]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ia]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ja]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[gb]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fb]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[rf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[re]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[pa]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[qb]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[qa]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ra]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[oa]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[rc]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[dq]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[cq]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[dr]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[cr]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[es]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[bh]BL[180]OB[1]C[C8 better?]
;W[bg]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[bi]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[cl]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[cm]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[bl]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[bm]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[bj]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[bf]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ag]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[cg]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[cf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[be]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ch]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[lm]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ln]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[nn]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[mm]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ml]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ll]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[lk]BL[180]OB[1]C[Kyouko [4d\]: possible yes
]
;W[km]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[nm]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[db]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[cc]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[cb]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[bb]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[dc]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ed]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[bc]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ac]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[cd]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[bd]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[cc]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[eb]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[mr]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[nr]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ls]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[oq]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[cs]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[br]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[bs]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ar]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[bp]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[bo]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[mo]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[no]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[el]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[dm]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ro]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[rp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ga]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ea]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[eh]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fi]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[am]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[an]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[al]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[sf]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[sg]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[se]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[rg]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[so]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[sn]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[sp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[mf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[qo]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[rn]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[kl]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[pn]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[oo]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[oj]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[nj]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ni]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[mi]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[nh]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[li]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ki]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[kj]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[mn]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[af]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ne]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[md]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[mh]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ns]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ho]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[jp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[lm]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[cp]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ds]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ms]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[lr]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ma]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[mb]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[la]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[ge]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[ca]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[kf]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[fj]BL[180]OB[1]
;W[]WL[180]OW[1]
;B[]BL[180]OB[1]TW[ha][hb][hc][ef][lf][of][cg][jg][kg][mg][pg][qg][ah][bh][dh][oh][qh][rh][sh][ai][bi][ci][oi][pi][si][aj][cj][qj][rj][sj][ak][bk][ck][rk][sk][rl][sl][rm][sm][lo][eq][kq][er][ir][fs][gs][hs][js][ks]TB[aa][ba][da][sa][ab][cb][db][kb][rb][sb][bc][cc][dc][ec][lc][qc][sc][ad][cd][qd][rd][sd][ae][lj][mj][kk][mk][bn][cn][ao][co][ap][bp][np][op][aq][bq][nq][pq][qq][rq][sq][or][pr][qr][rr][sr][os][ps][qs][rs][ss])[/sgf-full]