I "have" to do it?

[SpongeBob]

For myself, I found that if I tell myself that I "have" to study, then this study is
a) not as effective as it could or should be
b) I will lose the joy in Go as I will get negative feelings when I think about Go
c) eventually I will take a break from Go in order to get back that joy

So, now I am studying more moderately. If I notice that something inside me says "No, I don't want to study now", then I will respect that and do something that I like instead.

I find that my studies are more effective that way.

I think we can only devote so much energy into Go, the rest of it has to be put into some other things like job, school, whatever. If we try to put more energy into Go than we have available, we will fail.

After all, the primary goal when playing Go is to have fun. The time we spend with Go should be enjoyable.

And if you are setting yourself some goals for improvement, you better set those goals in a realistic way. Otherwise, you cannot succeed.

[phrax]

Perhaps you need to meditate on your sig a bit more. You appear so consumed and worried about moving the giant redwood and lake that you've forgotten you have a perfectly good axe and bucket setting beside you. And a walk through the woods can be nice when all you need to worry about is your next step.

For me, I may like or want to be 5D, but I have to get to 8k first. Perhaps I'll just try to play 10 points stronger at my next game. But I'll do it because I want to improve in a game I enjoy, not because I need to.

[GoCat]

Time to add my own thoughts, for whatever they are worth. Disclaimer: In reading this thread, many people have said valuable things. If I end up repeating or paraphrasing, forgive me. I don't want to keep going back with "... and like so-and-so said...".

First, I read Kirby's original post more broadly than just relating to Go. (After all, it's in "Off Topic".) So that's how I'll respond...

I read online that a big source of procrastination, laziness, and stress is the thought that one "has" to do something.

Ultimately, I suppose this is true... the source of those things is pretty much always a thought process of some sort -- perhaps more so if we include emotional thoughts.

.... But how can I ever have goals if I don't tell myself that I must do something? It seems nothing would get done. Surely people that have accomplished great things tell themselves they MUST do certain things to meet their goals?

Goals are useful, but as was pointed out, failure isn't a bad thing. In fact, I find people too often add too much stigma to failing to reach a goal. My teen daughter is like this -- beats herself mercilessly for failures in schoolwork.

Regarding goals, one of my favorite lines is the title of a book I have: "The Path Is The Goal". Especially for something like Go, I find this is very accurate.

Was what I read rubbish?

Probably. Most crap written about this kind of stuff (including this post) is rubbish.

Should I tell myself I have to do things or not?

If you have to do something, sure, tell yourself that. And at the same time, look at these "have to do" things in a different light. Also, put the "want to do" things in a similar light. Here's how I look at them...

This is something I think I may have mentioned another time, possibly on GD. But a friend years ago gave me this model for how to look at life. In essence, at every moment, there are many "have to's" and/or "want to's" that pull on us. I have to fix dinner; I want to sleep; I have to go to work; I want to read a book... All of these things are like rubber bands pulling us in one direction or another. What we do at any time is just the total sum of all these forces. Each rubber band changes at different times; some stretch tighter and pull harder, some loosen.

When I awake in the morning, there's a pretty strong rubber band that tries to keep me in bed. But there's a stronger rubber band that makes me want to get up and go to work. In the evening, that "go to work" force is pretty relaxed. Other rubber bands take over.

Now, for laziness and procrastination: These are just more rubber bands. Those are the rubber bands that represent your desire to take it easy, to not exert yourself. That's all. How strong is that force relative to your "have to" rubber band? The answer to that tells what you will do. Avoidance of something is another rubber band: "yuck... I don't want to do the dishes!"

So, when you notice that laziness or whatever, all you can do is observe whats going on -- notice what forces are acting on you -- and then choose what to do.

Ah... what a load of rubbish!

[hyperpape]

I've heard this idea of not thinking about "having" to do things before, and I like it. Maybe it's not a huge thing that will change your life, but I prefer the mindset. I am a terrible procrastinator, both for mundane tasks (I need to take trash out to the curb and shower before bed) and big picture things.

Some tasks are enjoyable to do, but you still end up procrastinating. Maybe go is like this for you. Reading philosophy and writing are that way for me. I found that it was better to think about that enjoyment, and focus on the activity itself, rather than thinking "I have to write x pages". If it works, you end up thinking of the activity itself as something you want to do and want to do right now, instead of trying to motivate yourself by hanging the sword over your head.

[Kirby]

Thank you, everyone. I think that I have identified what I "have" to do, now

[gowan]

My top ten reasons for procrastinating:

1.