Ok, let's assume that you're right. (And I bow to both your strength and experience.) How does a kyu player like me learn the
correct "attitude"? Perhaps there's a book for you to write, John...
I don't really know. As I said, this is a relatively new shift in my own thinking and I may be way off course (but for whatever experience is worth, my instinct is that I am at least facing in the right direction). Maybe a discussion here will throw up some answers.
By replacing the question "how do I punish?" by "how do I avoid getting tricked?" or, even better, "what are the best follow-up moves for both players, and are they worth playing immediately?", one might expect a more reasonable result. Nevertheless, I have the feeling that you exaggerate this point.
The point possibly is exaggerated - perhaps simply through being exposed as a new idea? But rephrasing old ideas as above strikes me as the sort of thing that would make a Zen master hit you with his paddle (or whatever it is they do). Rephrasing is still an attachment to the old way of thinking. Detachment to allow in a new way of thinking is called for. For such a major shift maybe exaggeration is not enough?
I think that before one can really understand the value of honte, one must first have a good amount of experience in sharp fighting. There is a very thin line between a honte move and a slack move, and there are moments where one simply has no time to play honte, no matter how solid it might be.
I don't think that fighting is the only way to understand honte, and maybe not even the best. That's a bit like saying that a criminal learns to be good if he gets in trouble enough. I think it's more likely that he just learns to pretend to be good. The best way to teach someone to be good may be to teach them from first principles. I think those who are destined to be go pros probably learn about things like honte also from first principles. They learn about fighting from first principles, too. They don't really need one to interfere with the other. The essence of "first principles", I suggest, is learning how to make your own moves efficiently meet the criteria. Learn your scales before you try to play jazz.
I've seen "safe groups and restraint" being misapplied just as often as greedy invasions and unnecessary attempts to kill. I doubt that anyone here would not agree that blindly defending is just as bad as blindly attacking.
That again seems to me simply to be either a statement of the obvious or another restatement of old ideas, but it certainly doesn't seem to be relevant. To be relevant it has to address the question of whether a safe move was played when a safe move was called for, but was just the precise point that was wrong - full marks for style (i.e. attitude), poor marks for technical merit. Or was it played when an attacking move was called for? Poor marks for style, good marks for technical merit.
My still coalescing view is that a senior pro assessing pupils would select those that had good style, reasoning they can be taught technique with enough time. He would, however, tend to reject those with poor style and good technique because his experience would tell him that it is much harder to teach style (again, in the special sense of attitude). As a concrete example of that, I refer you back to a remark by Kobayashi Satoru I quoted recently here where he talked of "professional tactics, amateur hallucinations" in relation to some top amateurs. After all, we don't make a guy professor of mathematics just because he can do Rubik's cube in 12 seconds. Nor would we even make Rubik a professor on the strength of his invention. We expect a professor to have the right approach/attitude/style to the whole subject of maths. I regard the hamete experts and the like as Rubik cube solvers, nothing more.
How to play against an unusual opening is an interesting and difficult question, independently of attitude.
Interesting and difficult, yes of course. But I don't see how any fruitful consideration can take place independently of attitude. It then seems a reasonable stance to suggest that some attitudes are better than others.
And what is amateurish about crushing an opponent?
Nothing per se, probably, but that wasn't the point raised. The characteristic identified was amateurs WANTING to crush the opponent. Real pros just want to play the best move. If that involves crushing, so be it, but it's incidental, not the motivating factor.