Working through the kyus! (Easier said than done)

[moyoaji]

Honestly, I've lost a lot of my motivation. I'm not sure where it went, but I'm hoping to get it back soon.

I have had a lack of motivation as of late. Michael Shumacher once said "Once something is a passion, the motivation is there." I do believe I am passionate about go. And I think the idea behind this quote is probably true. But I was wondering... if the motivation is there, then where is it hiding? Why have I not wanted to get onto the KGS to battle against opponents on the e-kaya fields of the go board?

Whenever I wanted to play, I would think about how hard go has become. My opponents can read just as well as I, if not better. The game requires great mental effort. And, frankly, I have found winning to be hallow and defeat to be crushing.

So I did not play. I stayed away from the go board. It was not necessarily fear - although that probably has something to do with it. (Or a lot to do with it.) It was more lethargy. I felt exhausted whenever I thought of playing an opponent near my strength. And I always seemed to be too weak, too tired, too burnt out to justify playing.

So I now know this:

• When you have lost the will to fight.
  When you have lost the will to work hard.
  When you have lost the will to even try to win.
  
  All that remains, if anything does, is the will to play.

That is the motivation that hides away when we seem to be lacking in a desire to work at go. If we can tap into that, then we will never lack the motivation to do what we are passionate about. (But you lack motivation... isn't this"revelation" like the blind leading the blind? )

And I did play a game tonight on the IGS. I won and I think I actually played very well. It is a shame the game was not even - I think my opponent and I could have played a great game on even footing. The biggest difference this game compared to most. I was paying attention to the whole board situation. That is the most important thing that I am working on. This is also, I believe, the best review of one of my games that I have ever done. (So you are not only getting stronger at go, you are getting better at reviewing... Didn't realize that was the goal here. )

Tomorrow is go club and I can go to it. If our 2 kyu player comes, I want to play him. First, because I think I can win. And second, even if I can't, I know for sure that I can play.

(This is only true if you consider that mess you put on a go board to be playing... )

[RBerenguel]

By move two I knew you were going to win. Just skimmed over the game, I don't have much to say (just woke up) but you were clearly at the very least even with him. Good job

[Shenoute]

It is nice that you found enough motivation to keep playing

Just a few thoughts on the game, as usual this may just be complete nonsense or just a matter of personal preferences

I would have played at the top (f16 then k17, or even k17 immediately) as this seems to be the region b wants to develop. I think the result to 23 does not work very well with b's lower right wall.
maybe kick at r15 first to reduce w's possibilities ?
not sure about the change of direction...Now that d16 has been left alone, it is hard for b to develop the top. So I would have cut w in two and developed the right side.
at this point I don't feel the b stones are really working together. Maybe it is to early to think in terms of territory...

[moyoaji]

@RBerenguel - Yes, my opponent helped me out a fair amount in that game. (As in all of moyo's wins... )

@Shenoute - For I actually did consider K17 directly in the game. I've been experimenting with that move a bit and just about played it. But, as with before, I wanted white to give me an excuse to use my wall. I was assuming we would play the typical 2-space high pincer joseki where white makes a low base that is out and black gets the corner. So I thought I would get to play F16 and then come back for K17 in the end. (Because almost playing a good move somehow means something? )

At I don't like the kick. If I'm going to defend the corner I'd want to do so solidly. As mentioned in my review, I almost played that way, although I do wonder which direction is better to cap white's 2-space extension.

seemed like a good idea at the time, and I think it is good locally. My N17 stone is ideally placed for this. However, as you noted, the top is hard to develop. I think I should have blocked that way so I had two walls facing the right. Which was my original intention when I played N17. So changing direction was inconsistent. (In other words, it was bad.)

For I also considered splitting white with a kosumi. However, as noted later, the K3 stone is not weak. I saw no good way to attack it and I assumed white would simply go for the corner. But again, as I saw after the game, such a wall following the invasion would be good for black.

-----

I still have a desire to play, but I don't have much time today before club. I got in another blitz game, though. It was fairly easy (my KGS blitz rank is low because I don't play on it much).

The only huge mistake I saw in the game was on the bottom side. I needed to connect to kill white's stones. Then I would have captured them. Otherwise I played a lot of slow moves because of the clock and because I was ahead.

I feel the only reason I won is because I know my Chinese fuseki and white foolishly invaded early. And tried to live like a crazy person... (You again win because your opponent messed up. Will you ever win a game on your own merits?)

[Bill Spight]

Who wins if their opponent plays perfectly?

[Abyssinica]

Who wins if their opponent plays perfectyly?

W+0.5

[moyoaji]

@Bill - A good point, but if I want to improve I need to start to think more in terms of perfect play and less in terms of "well, my opponent let me get away with this, so that's fair" kind of play. (Perfect play? Well good luck with that insanity. )

@Abyssinica - Don't you know the old story about the two omniscient gods who sat down to play a game of go? One took black, thought for a few years, then played his move. His opponent thought for a few years, and then said "I resign."

I got in another IGS game today. It felt like I was in command of the game the whole time. In the end, my opponent made a horrific blunder and resigned. (Can we get a loss again soon? These wins are, um, less helpful in improving your play. )

I have been quite satisfied with my reading recently. I made a couple mistakes this game out of greed, but otherwise it has been good. (Good by 3 kyu standards is horrific blundering by 9 dan standards... )



I did not get to play the 2 kyu at my local go club this week, but I really want to. I think I may have improved some since our last game. If he hasn't also improved I may finally get a win. (Ah, okay. Thanks for letting us know where your next loss is coming from. I was getting worried. )

[moyoaji]

I got another undeserved win today - but this one was actually undeserved. My opponent resigned when he was up by about 20 points. (Yep, moyo at his finest, everyone. )

It was a game on the IGS and my opponent was given 3 stones against me. I'll probably change that setting to put it within 1 stone. I did poorly in the handicap game, not sure how to proceed. My opponent ignored me and, when I failed to kill his group, I had all but lost the game. Even after a questionable ko fight at the end which won me about 10 points my opponent was still well ahead. Then I played the first real end-game move and he resigned. (So another stunning victory! )

I'm not sure if my 10k opponent just couldn't count or couldn't read, but I was sure to lose that game if we continued. The IGS seems to have made me 8k now, so I'll have a lot of games around that rank in the future.

Here's the game:

I'm also starting up more OGS correspondence games. I've got 2 with unknown opponents and I sent some invites to some others I've played in the past. The two unknown opponents are playing rather strange moves, however. One opened at the point of the Ear Reddening Move. The other opened on a 5-5. We'll see how those go... (I thought you wanted to play strange openings? )

[Bill Spight]

10 kyus should not resign.

[moyoaji]

10 kyus should not resign.

This would be an example of why that is common advice. Unless my opponent just had to leave his computer or resigned for some reason besides that he thought he was losing. The world may never know. (Nor does the world care... )

[Bill Spight]

Some comments on the opening.



Main focus: Do not strengthen your opponent's stones. Do not weaken your own.

[moyoaji]

Thanks for the comments, Bill. I definitely agree with most of what you are saying. I tend to play too slowly in most handicap games.

- This move is the only joseki I usually play in this situation because it gives white such a good corner in sente. Also, the solid connection is uncommon because it usually makes black over-concentrated - usually black will descend to S13. I suppose black can afford to play solidly himself considering his handicap stones. Even so, I'm fine with that result. I end in sente either way, whereas I will end in gote if I jump again. (You both value sente and play too slowly... do you even understand what your own problems are? )

- I know that is the weak point of black's shape, but I was too timid to play it at . That was a clear mistake in retrospect. (You think?)

- This move is far more common than the attachment in the pro games I've studied and is seven times more common in the DailyJoseki database. Josekipedia says that the attachment is badly timed if played directly - first you should hane at G16. (Just because it is common for pros does not mean it is good in your board position... ) That being said, I agree that the result ends up being very good for black on this board and I should hane at G16 to prevent this wall.

- This was definitely my biggest mistake. I hated the result as soon as I played it. I should just nobi there and then tenuki to approach the bottom left or help my D14 stone. (Good job. You're a great player to have the day after someone makes a bad move. )

- This move is clearly a mistake in retrospect. I was getting desperate and tried too hard to kill white here. I needed to back off some in order to make this work. (I thought you were trying not to go crazy and kill things anymore. )

[Bill Spight]

- This move is the only joseki I usually play in this situation because it gives white such a good corner in sente. Also, the solid connection is uncommon because it usually makes black over-concentrated - usually black will descend to S13. I suppose black can afford to play solidly himself considering his handicap stones.

You have a point about the overconcentration. But your job is to make things difficult for Black, not easy for yourself. Even giving only three stones your stones have to be much more effective than Black's. Settling the top right corner does not achieve that level of effectiveness.

- This move is far more common than the attachment in the pro games I've studied and is seven times more common in the DailyJoseki database. Josekipedia says that the attachment is badly timed if played directly - first you should hane at G16.

That surprised me, since not only do Jiang and Rui criticize the 3-3 with the 6-4 counter pincer, I don't like the play, either. I checked Josekipedia, and when Black blocks as in this game, it shows a line that it says is good for Black. <shrug>

Edited for spelling and grammar.

[RBerenguel]

[...] your job is to make things difficult for Black, not easy for yourself.

Commented just to say this is going to my list of "things to keep in mind"

[moyoaji]

So I had a nice milestone this week: I got my first win against our go club's 2 kyu player. I thought they way I went about it was actually pretty clever. (Alright, let's get the rest of L19 in here so they can disprove that... )

I had an interesting strategy going into the game. I'm currently playing him with a one stone handicap. After my last game, where I played a Low Chinese fuseki to no success, I felt I should go at the game from a different angle. And then it hit me that a one stone handicap is just old-fashioned no komi go. (This only occurred to you now? )

So, I took a page out of Shusaku's book and decided to play territorially as black. I've studied many of his games and so I played out his style of fuseki as best I could in the hopes of getting ahead and keeping my lead. (Huh? Well that's sort of interesting. )

It worked beautifully. By keeping myself fairly strong and playing a decent fuseki I was able to get ahead and maintain my lead. When I won a fight in the early mid-game it was all over and I won by resignation. (You still had a handicap, so that's no big deal...)


My opponent is much stronger in the endgame, but I feel like I'm slowly catching up to his reading ability for mid-game fighting. If I can continue to build leads through my superior joseki and fuseki knowledge then perhaps I can secure a win without the handicap. (Or maybe you could try to learn some endgame so that he doesn't gain 15 points on you at the end of every match... )