With a record of 0-6 in the 4d section at Congress, and a 1-5 in the ING cup, along with 1-3 in the Die Hard, I had my fair share of embarassing moments.
I think the one that sticks out to me the most was my game against Gan Jianing 7d.
This was game 4 of the ING cup. I had, up to then, prided myself on leaving my morning losses at the door and coming in fresh with a mentality to play the best Go I could.
Game 1 was against Koh Juyong, and according to his review at the end, I didn't play too poorly, he didn't think I was behind by very much until the early endgame started, which is the place where he usually shines in games. I was thoroughly beaten, but I didn't feel too bad about it.
Game 2 was against Kwon Young, and it's a game that I was definitely proud of at the time. Managed a 7.5 point win, and thought that it was due mostly to luck, but upon review of the game by Nakano 9p, I had a small lead, not when I thought he had messed up, but actually slightly before that. His mistake in the endgame simply made the margin too big to make up for. During the game, I tenuki'd a very severe attack and demanded that he kill me, and managed to barely live. That was the point in the game where I count myself lucky. With a win under my belt, I was feeling pretty good about myself.
Game 3 was against Cathy Li, who in this tournament would get the unusual achievement of having beaten two Eric L.'s. In our game, I missed some chances to severely attack her, but managed to surround a group that I thought required a response. She tenuki'd, and I proceeded to try and kill her. I poured over 45 minutes of thinking time into one life and death problem, and at the end of it, I was faced with two choices: sente seki by surrounding it, or keeping it down to one eye and pushing it out into the center to try and kill it, an option that I couldn't read clearly to the end. Letting my bloodthirstiness get the better of me, I pushed her out into the center, where she immediately used a series of forcing moves to connect to another group, sealing me off in sente, and getting points. I clearly had the wrong idea. Her endgame rev'd up and she not only reduced me in several places, but killed me too. I resigned and felt pretty bad about how I'd played. Very impulsive, very bad.
After that day was the Die Hard tournament, I wanted to enter to try and get some wins, and to hopefully refresh myself on how to play Go, but after going 1-3 in the tournament, I really wasn't feeling well with myself. Top it off with a loss in the 4th round of the Open, and I was completely on tilt.
It was with that mentality that I went on to play Gan Jianing, the monster kid from Canada who never says anything, especially when he's beating your face in.
I think... I'll let the game speak for itself. I was white.

A pretty normal start.
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bc A pretty normal start.
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . 5 . . . . . |
$$ | . . 9 , . . . . . 7 . . . . . 2 . . . |
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$$ | . . 8 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 . . |
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$$ | . . . 0 . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
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$$ | . . 1 , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . . |
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I now know that a is honte here.
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bc I now know that a is honte here.
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . 5 . . X . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O 4 2 . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . a . O . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , 6 . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . 9 8 0 . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

With 4, I should've responded at 5, to keep myself from getting my face beaten in.
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bc With 4, I should've responded at 5, to keep myself from getting my face beaten in.
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . X . . X . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . 9 0 . 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . 8 3 5 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . 4 O . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , O . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . X O O . . . . 2 . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I remember not thinking that he would cut at 7 for some stupid reason, and that somehow, I would be able to connect in gote, and somehow salvage the fact that he had a boatload of points. Without thinking, I tried to make something happen by attaching, my last try.
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bc I remember not thinking that he would cut at 7 for some stupid reason, and that somehow, I would be able to connect in gote, and somehow salvage the fact that he had a boatload of points. Without thinking, I tried to make something happen by attaching, my last try.
$$ ---------------------------------------
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$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . X 0 . X . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . 2 X 8 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X O 1 X 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | 5 9 X X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . 3 O O . 6 . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , O . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . X O O . . . . O . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Face: beaten. I res'd.
- Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bc Face: beaten. I res'd.
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . 7 6 . . 4 5 . . X . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . X O 2 X . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . 1 3 . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O O . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . O X O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X O X X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | X X X X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . X O O . O . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , O . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . X O O . . . . O . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]